Chapter 322 Tears filled eyes
John Watson lifted his pants refreshed.
After following Watson's instructions to release the unbearable feeling in his heart, he suddenly felt as if his soul had been purified and his spiritual realm had been improved.
He even began to think about the nature of the universe and the mysteries of philosophy - who am I, where do I come from, and where am I going?
John Watson, who was as calm as a meditator, once again recalled the teachings of his good friend Watson at this time, and murmured to himself: "Yes, I should show my confidence and strength like a real man, and use my strength to Conquer this high mountain flower with your charisma!”
“Believe in yourself, John Watson, you can do it!!!”
"You are a real war hero! Although I have lost my memory now, the knightly spirit of bravery, honor and pride should be deeply engraved in my flesh and bones... Yes, that's right, even if I have lost Memories related to that period, but this cannot change the essence of me being a war hero!"
"I, John Watson, am a living legend!!!"
John Watson waved his fists in vain, as if he wanted to encourage his weak and inferior self, and his heart seemed to beat eagerly in response to his high spirits.
Bang bang, there was a slight sound of clapping from the shadows in the corner of Ward 103.
I don't know why, but John Watson always feels that every sound of the palm slap falls on his heart just right, as if his heart can't help but beat with this beat.
"Well said, Watson!" Watson slowly walked out of the shadows in the corner. The frequency of his palm strikes was gradually increasing, but the sound of applause that was fed back to John Watson's ears was getting louder and louder. Strangely, it was no longer a snapping sound, but had become strangely dull and hoarse.
This increasingly high frequency of clapping seemed to hit John Watson's heart every time. He could really feel that his heartbeat was indeed beating to the beat of the high-fives, because no one else's heartbeat was the same. Maybe he is as wild and chaotic as he is now.
But he didn't feel any discomfort. On the contrary, he felt that his mind was becoming more active and more sensitive, as if he could feel the world turning slowly, as if he could hear the breath of the sky... But why is this Why is the sound of high-fives so strange? It's not like the sound that can be made by flesh palms at all. It's noisier, more harsh, more like, more like the sound of something?
John Watson was thinking hard and couldn't find an appropriate and suitable adjective, and he felt so aggrieved inside, as if the words had been spit out in his throat, but he could never completely spit them out. It was really uncomfortable.
"It's more like two blunt blades striking, and it's more like a rusty pair of scissors opening and closing."
"Ah, yes, yes, Watson's description is so apt!"
John Watson finally found a suitable adjective. He felt that all the frustration and discomfort in his heart were released, and he was so excited that he even shouted with his fists.
"Of course! Who else but me can understand you so well... We are the best buddies!" Watson finally stopped high-fiving, put his arm around John Watson's shoulders, and said affectionately.
John Watson, whose face showed strange enthusiasm, nodded repeatedly, "That's right. If you really want to ask who in this world understands me better than myself, then you are the only one in this world."
However, the next second, John Watson felt that after just one night, his good friend Watson seemed to have undergone some inexplicable changes.
The most obvious one is a certain wonderful feeling that can be called reality.
In the past, when Watson's arm rested on his shoulder, although he could indeed feel the slight heaviness of the touch, at this moment, his touch became particularly clear, and he seemed to be able to sense the inside of Watson's arm. The sound of blood flowing slowly, the slight sound of blood vessels pulsing - Watson, who should only exist in his imagination, suddenly became vivid, as real as flesh and blood! ! !
Although John Watson is illiterate, he is not stupid. He had secretly asked Dr. George earlier about the source of the phantom sounds that echoed in his mind from time to time. Could it be that an invisible and invisible creature lived in his skull? The devil of appearance?
At that time, Dr. George did not know that he was referring to another voice, but thought that the patient was referring to the subtle voice released by the logistics doctor, so he self-righteously answered: "If we really want to investigate the source of this voice, I am more inclined to think about the subconscious mind in your heart, John... Our hospital has communicated with the medical community in Europa before, and they all generally believe that there is some kind of potential psychological activity in the human heart. "
"This kind of potential consciousness is often a slight mental activity process that has occurred in the human heart but has not yet reached the state of consciousness... Even though most people are unable to detect their true inner feelings, these feelings exist objectively It’s just buried deep in our hearts, but it disturbs our judgment all the time, and even controls our behavior invisibly.”
"To give a simple example, a full-time mother works hard at home with all kinds of trivial matters every day. Her body is out of shape due to childbirth, and her skin is rough due to cooking. She looks at herself in the mirror. They all began to feel inferior and feared that their husbands would become bored with them and raise young canaries outside.”
"But in fact, this is not just a suspicion. Her husband comes home late every night, and occasionally his shirt will be stained with the smell of other perfumes... The stay-at-home mother has actually discovered the fact that her husband is cheating, but she has been thinking... There are various reasons to deceive herself, but her subconscious mind will not lie and will endlessly remind her of the fact that her husband has cheated.”
"A simpler and more intuitive example, suppose John you have witnessed the scene of your parents quarreling and separating when you were a child, then your subconscious mind will be full of vigilance and rejection of the marriage relationship, even if you later meet a beautiful and intelligent woman , you like this lady very much and are very willing to marry her, but when you actually step into the church, you still can't help but shrink back..."
"This is the subconsciousness left over from the shadow of childhood. The subconsciousness that even you can't detect yourself is also the truest thought in your heart, John!"
At that time, after John Watson listened to Dr. George's long speech, he unconsciously murmured, "So are those my truest thoughts?"
George only thought that John Watson's hesitant voice that echoed in his mind was credible. In order to speed up the treatment progress and greatly improve the work efficiency of his colleagues, he immediately used a series of words mixed with obscure medical terms and straightforward explanations. Repeatedly proving the accuracy of this statement further deepened John Watson's trust.
John Watson was already a little confused after listening to the series of complicated words, but he still cleverly extracted the core meaning: "In other words, as long as I believe in the inner voice unconditionally... it is the most correct thing to do." Right, Doctor George?"
"That's right, John, you understand it exactly right!"
"This latent consciousness may contain your missing memories. As long as you listen carefully to the voices in your mind, you will be able to completely cure your amnesia and restore your lost memories soon!!!"
George was so happy that he wanted to applaud, thinking that now John Watson would listen to the subtle voice of his colleagues for no reason - in his knowledge, although John Watson occasionally had thoughts in his mind, A second voice sounded, but it was obviously the idiosyncratic hunger of the blade phase, and the mere first-level blade phase hunger obviously could not surpass the resonance repeatedly released by colleagues in the hospital.
However, George never thought that maybe the second voice in John Watson's mind was not just a simple sexual hunger, but came from an elusive winged monster.
"What, wondering why I'm becoming more and more real?"
Watson once again saw the doubts in John Watson's heart, or it should be said that as Watson's subconscious mind, he was able to know the other person's inner thoughts.
"Have you forgotten what Dr. George said, I am your subconscious mind! I am becoming more and more real, doesn't it mean that you are getting closer to your true heart?!"
"Your treatment process is becoming more and more effective, and now the gap between the explicit consciousness and the subconscious mind is getting narrower... It seems that it won't be long before you can recall or re-recognize the lost two things. Years of memories!”
"At that time, you can become the real John Watson again!"
"Is he the real John Watson..." John Watson, who was not fake, murmured to himself. He suddenly felt an inexplicable melancholy in his heart. What if he turned back to the heroic and fierce fighting figure in Watson's interpretation of the document? John Watson, whom he felt was a stranger, would this weak and hesitant self completely disappear?
Will I still be the same person then?
"What a good question! Your ideological level is really getting higher and higher, almost reaching the height of Eubulides. You have been able to understand the profound sophistry of 'I was not who I am now' on your own. "
"Who is Oblides?"
"He's just an old liar. Don't pay attention to this little detail. In short, remember what I told you and maintain the excitement and confidence in your chest... You will definitely surprise Holmes later!!!"
"Well, I will definitely do it!"
After being encouraged by his subconscious mind, John Watson's inner uneasiness and confusion seemed to have disappeared. He is now full of confidence and firmly believes that he will be able to play his true self and impress the beautiful and intelligent Miss Holmes! ! !
He straightened the collar of his hospital gown facing the reflection of the white wall in front of him, and then smiled as ferociously as Watson.
………………
John Watson, who was handcuffed and shackled again, was accompanied/escorted by three old acquaintances and caregivers, and left the moderately out-of-control Ward 2 area.
The extremely enthusiastic neighbor once again leaned against the small window on the door panel and peered out. His crow-like face was covered with scars, like cracks in a closed door.
He chuckled weirdly, "Hey hey hey, why is my new neighbor dressed so handsome today? It looks like he is going on a date, right?!"
"Jie Jie Jie, don't deny it in a hurry, I heard your conversation just now... You want to go to the Holmes family's pearl, right?"
"I advise you to give up as soon as possible. It is not so easy for the Holmes family to take advantage... I think I paid a very heavy price for this, brother, otherwise with my flexible skills , How could I end up living in this depressing and boring lunatic asylum?”
"Ahhhh--so boring and boring!!!"
"I want to eavesdrop on a woman's gentle humming! I want to peek at the entanglement of snow white and bronze! I want to see the turbulent waves layer upon layer!!!"
As the weird neighbor was talking, he suddenly banged his head against the door panel, and the dull knocks were heard one after another, so that the nurse responsible for escorting John Watson was a little angry, and he suddenly raised his hand and knocked on 104 with a stick. The door panel of ward No. 1.
"Don't make any fucking trouble with me!"
The loud bang could not interrupt the self-mutilation behavior of this miserable madman, until another experienced caregiver quietly approached the door and window and whispered: "Karl Charles, be honest and don't cause us trouble... As long as you behave Be obedient, and I will get you the 1862 copy of "The Garden of Earthly Delights" that you have been thinking about."
"The 1862 copy of "The Garden of Earthly Delights"?" The patient named Karl Charles stopped immediately when he heard the words. His face covered in blood suddenly began to smile, and the scar on his forehead was torn apart like a spider web.
The experienced nurse did not reply directly, but just blinked meaningfully. Karl Charles immediately showed a lewd smile knowingly, and stepped back to his bed, lying down honestly. Moving like a corpse.
John Watson, who was watching this scene the whole time, shook his head slightly, thinking that the madman in Area 2 was really scary. Fortunately, his madness symptoms had been relieved a lot.
According to Dr. George, I can move to the more stable and quiet Area 1 next week. Otherwise, if I stay in the noisy Area 2 all the time, I'm really afraid that I won't be able to help but want it. Slaughter this filthy madhouse to its core!
John Watson quickly put this brief episode behind him and regained the calm and cold expression taught by Watson - like a mature man who has gone through many hardships, even if a majestic mountain collapsed in front of him. , the boulder was rolling towards me, and I didn’t even blink!
He straightened his back, frowned slightly, and pursed his thin lips tightly. His expression was solemn and serious, as if he was about to rush to the battlefield. Even the three caregivers couldn't help but look sideways, wondering what is this guy crazy about? ? ?
The door to the reception room in front of John Watson slowly opened, and he immediately saw Miss Charlotte Holmes waiting behind the reception table!
'Ah, Miss Charlotte is so beautiful - so beautiful that she is as dazzling as the sun in the sky. Her cold and noble temperament seems to be shining brightly. The light is so dazzling that I seem to burst into tears because of her shining light. Orbit! ’
Hiss—no, it turns out it’s not that Miss Charlotte is too dazzling, but that I haven’t blinked for too long, and my eyes are so dry that I can’t help crying.