Chapter 184: She is afraid of losing Lu Zhiyuan
Chapter 184 She is afraid of losing Lu Zhiyuan
She is a person who lacks the desire to share. She couldn't tell about this experience and emotion. She didn't simply fall in love with a dual personality Lu Zhiyuan.
She still has heartache and obsessions that have never been healed in her previous life.
Gu Ci concealed the third master's superpower and Zi Yu, and told her life as a story. She talked for two hours, intermittently, and Dr. North did not interrupt her.
Dr. North's heart was in turmoil. It turned out that Xiaoci was a person who had lived a new life. No wonder, with superb clinical skills, there was always a sadness hidden in her eyes. No wonder Xiaoci knew that she was in prison. No wonder Xiaoci had some actions, like It was a subconscious reaction of someone who had been in prison. She had also wondered why Xiao Ci was like this.
Now, it all makes sense. She was once really Xiaoci's master.
Dr. North knew it well but did not reveal it.
Gu Ci only talked about her and Lu Zhiyuan, but it was enough to make Dr. North feel distressed. Xiao Ci always rubs her wrists when she sees her. So, is Xiao Ci's hand disabled by her?
“Master, what should I do?”
Dr. North is an atheist and does not believe in cause and effect, reincarnation, rebirth, or time travel. However, Gu Ci's emotions convinced her that this was a true story, not a dream of Gu Ci's.
"Xiao Ci, Master will not tell you how to choose. You have to follow your own heart. No one knows your choice except you." Dr. North said, "But Xiao Ci, you have to learn to love yourself. To love others.”
Gu Ci looked at Dr. North in confusion. Only this look made Dr. North think that she was an eighteen-year-old girl. She hugged Gu Ci in distress. She never thought that Gu Ci would suffer. So much sin.
"Those bad memories make you lose the ability to love yourself. Your person has returned to another life, but your heart is still in the sadness of the previous life." Dr. North said, "Let me ask you, if they all If I don’t love you, what would you do?”
A trace of cruelty flashed across Gu Ci's eyes, "Lock him up! Make him unable to leave me for the rest of his life."
Dr. North touched her face and said, "You are hurting, not loving, Xiaoci. This is not a sign of loving someone."
"I know I'm sick." Gu Ci said, she was soberly watching herself sinking into madness.
"It's okay." Dr. North said with a chuckle, "In this long life, no one has gone crazy once or twice. Don't blame yourself, don't feel inferior and suffer from yourself. The sufferings in the past have knocked you down, and it's not your fault. We don’t want to keep other people’s sins in our hearts, Xiaoci, bring you back from the previous life and don’t let her stay in the abyss alone, okay?”
Gu Ci burst into tears, as if she had shed all the tears she had suppressed in her previous life at once.
“Master, I can’t get it back!” Gu Ci cried loudly, “What should I do? I can’t get it back.”
"Don't cry, baby, you cry so hard that Master's heart will break." Dr. North stroked her long hair gently. Thinking that he had broken her hand, Dr. North's eyes turned red. She was extremely It is certain that she likes Gu Ci, and there is no way that she would just destroy her hand for no reason, "Master will help you, Master will help you."
After a hearty cry, Gu Ci fell asleep next to Dr. North. Dr. North looked at her sleeping face, with tears still hanging on her eyelashes. It is difficult for doctors to heal themselves. This has been the case since ancient times.
Xiao Ci needs a psychiatrist. Too much obsession is a disease.
Heart disease also needs a heart medicine doctor, and her best cure is also Lu Zhiyuan.
Dr. North frowned and pulled Gu Ci's sleeve. There were no scars on her arms. She hesitated and opened her shirt. Sure enough, she saw some bruises and burns on her lower abdomen. They were almost all new injuries. She There are similar scars on his thigh.
When Gu Ci woke up, it was already late at night.
“Master, I lost my temper.” She cried until she was exhausted and fell asleep. “Are you feeling better?”
Gu Ci nodded. Strangely enough, things were still a mess and there was no solution, but she did feel lighter.
“How long have you had this nightmare?”
"It's been...a few months." She didn't dare to sleep deeply at night. Once she fell asleep, she would have nightmares. It would be better when she was in the world. She knew that Lu Zhiyuan was upstairs. After arriving at Lantian Villa, she almost had nightmares every night.
“What about self-abuse?”
Gu Ci was startled and pulled the quilt to cover her legs. Suddenly she felt a little cold. She knew she couldn't hide it from Dr. North, "It's always been there... I can't control myself."
Dr. North looked at her, feeling extremely distressed, "Xiao Ci, are there any people or things in this world that you are attached to?"
Gu Ci nodded, her eyes eager, "I torture myself because I can't bear it. I'm afraid that it will get worse. The pain will wake me up."
"You need to see a psychiatrist." Dr. North said, "Master is somewhat accomplished in this area. You come to me because you want to help yourself, right?"
Gu Ci nodded and did not deny it. Otherwise, she would not have said it.
"You have reached a dead end, Xiaoci." Dr. North said, "What you have to do is to heal yourself and heal him. His situation is definitely not a dual personality. Once the dual personality appears, differentiation will start to fight. , fighting for control of the body, memory, life skills, and social skills will never be able to live in peace for more than ten years. If I am not wrong, they must be the same person, but... why does this happen? , I still don’t understand.”
“Third brother must make a choice for me, what should I do?”
"Then you choose, what are you afraid of!" Dr. North chuckled, "Choose whoever you want to choose, and then go cure him. Don't trap yourself in memories. You always feel that whoever you choose is lost. You won’t lose anyone. Don’t be afraid to make a choice. It doesn’t matter if you make the wrong choice. We are constantly choosing in life, and no one always chooses the right one.”
Gu Ci felt a sudden sense of enlightenment, as if the door that had been trapping her had quietly opened a crack, and light leaked in, and she saw hope.
"You are too afraid of losing Lu Zhiyuan." Dr. North told the crux of the problem, "You are saving yourself by moving away from Universal. You are trying to live a life without Lu Zhiyuan. In fact, losing someone is not that terrible. You You once lost him and went crazy because he was the only support in your heart. Without him, your world collapsed. But Master, judging from your behavior in this life, besides him, you have other attachments, right? ?”
Gu Ci nodded.
Dr. North looked at Gu Ci and said, "Master, let me share a story with you. Perhaps you have heard that I once loved someone so much that I was willing to go through fire and water for him, and I was willing to get rid of Chen Geng for him. Before I fell in love with him, I didn't even think about resisting Chen Geng. Loving someone really gives you faith and strength. Later, I failed. I found that except for death, I couldn't get rid of Chen Geng. There was no result with my sweetheart. He had a bright future. What did I have? I would only bring misfortune to him, so I left without saying goodbye and cut off contact. I hid this love in my heart as a belief. Later, I got rid of it. Chen Geng then went to find him and found that the building was empty and the names were all fake. I was also desperate. I also thought ferociously that if one day I met him again, I would also lock him up and question him. Why did he lie to me? Why was everything false? One day, I secretly went to see Little Cherry. She was eight years old and was so beautiful. She lived carefree in the sun. All I had. The resentment has disappeared, I think, if one day Little Cherry knows that I am her mother, I hope that in her eyes, her mother is a mother that she can be proud of, not a mother who is full of resentment and is beyond recognition. "
Gu Ci had never heard of this story, and Dr. North rarely talked about her past.
"So, Xiaoci, treat the sufferings of the past as a calamity. Once you have gone through it, don't worry about it." Dr. North's voice was very powerful, "Lu Zhiyuan will love you, and you will get your wish." , has a bright future.”
Gu Ci hugged Dr. North and said, "Okay, I will work hard."
If she doesn’t love herself, how can she learn to love others?
(End of this chapter)