Chapter 70: mother and son
Chapter 70 Mother and Son
For several days, Xia Rongrong hid from Lu Yan.
In the past, when Lu Zhuo was sitting in the hospital during the day, Xia Rongrong's master and servant would follow him to help. However, these days, he has been hiding in the hospital and refused to come out. If he bumped into him, he would take a detour to avoid it. This move was too obvious. Du Changqing asked several times openly and secretly, but Xia Rongrong ignored her and thought they were quarreling behind their backs.
With clouds billowing outside, Yin Zheng helped Lu Shuo move a white porcelain Bodhisattva statue into a small Buddhist cabinet in the house.
The Guanyin statue was brought back by Lu Zhu from an incense and candle shop on West Street. The owner of the shop said that it was a spiritual object that had been consecrated by the master of Wan'en Temple. When Lu Zhu saw that the statue of Guanyin was so lifelike, he thought of himself again. There was an empty small Buddhist cabinet in the dormitory where he lived, which could just fit this statue, so he spent five taels of silver to bring the porcelain Guanyin back.
The white-robed Guanyin was placed in the small Buddha cabinet, and the small Buddhist cabinet was no longer as empty as before.
Yin Zheng looked around and smiled: "The size is just right. It just lacks a niche. I'll look for a suitable one when I have time."
Lu Zhen said "Hmm", looked at the yard outside again, and said, "Let's go."
It was mid-afternoon, the air was surprisingly stuffy, the sky was overcast, and it seemed like a mountain rain was about to come.
Du Changqing was lying on the table in the shop to take a nap. When he saw the two of them going out, he lazily raised his head and said, "Don't forget to bring your umbrella."
"knew."
After the two of them disappeared outside the hospital, Xia Rongrong opened the felt curtain and came out, then looked out and asked Du Changqing: "It's going to rain. Where are you going, Doctor Lu?"
“Wu Xiucai from the Fresh Fish Shop is **** dead.” Du Changqing wiped his face.
“The two of them went to deliver the money.”
…
The strong wind was rough, making the white paper lanterns under the eaves rattle.
In the yard, there are layers of filial piety curtains and curtains, and piles of paper horses combing hair. In the shadow of the flickering lamp, a dark wooden coffin rested heavily in the mourning hall.
Wu Youcai, dressed in coarse linen mourning clothes, was kneeling by the wooden basin in front of the coffin and filling paper money into the fire.
Aunt Wu went there a few days ago. The fortune teller He Xiangzi calculated the auspicious time for his mother to be buried and then left. Wu Youcai had no other relatives in Shengjing. The neighbors on West Street helped with the funeral and stayed with her for two days. Ri Ling, after saying some words of condolences, dispersed in twos and threes - everyone has their own life to live.
He is keeping vigil here alone.
The mother's clothing during his lifetime was stacked, put aside, and waited for the soil. Wu Youcai's eyes fell on the folded quilt.
The quilt is embroidered with a cluster of golden flowers with six petals, like a smile.
It is the daylily flower.
Wu Youcai’s eyes gradually turned red as he watched.
Aunt Wu is frugal and rarely buys new clothes. A piece of linen clothing can last more than ten years. Sometimes my elbows and knees are torn, and I'm afraid the patch won't look good, so I pick up threads that others don't want and embroider some flowers to patch them up.
Day lilies grow on the steps of the hall, and wanderers travel to the ends of the world; the loving mother leans against the door of the hall, but there are no day lilies in sight.
Hemerocallis is the mother flower.
Mother…
The Confucian scholar's tears rolled down.
All the sorrows and sorrows in the world are nothing more than parting in death and separation in life. Even though he already knew that his mother would die soon, when that day came, Wu Youcai still felt it was sudden.
Mingming told him in the evening the day before that she had a bad appetite these days and wanted to eat cold mung beans and white rice to appetizer tomorrow. At night, when he went to wipe his mother's body, her mother's body was already cold.
The neighbors who came to bring him money persuaded him that his mother passed away unconsciously and without pain, and that she was happy and mourning, so he should not be sad. But after so many days, Wu Youcai still couldn't let go.
He has not yet entered the Jinban High School, has not yet won a royal title for his mother, and has not even allowed his mother to enjoy a day's happiness or even boasted about it. Why did his mother leave?
Don’t give him another chance.
The yellow paper in his hand was crumpled. The man choked and couldn't help himself. He was as lonely as a homeless dog. His tears fell into the brazier and turned into ashes together with the paper money.
The wind is getting louder outside.
The long wind blew up the white flags hanging in the courtyard to summon souls. The sky was gloomy like evening, and there were faint flashes of thunder in the black clouds.
Just in the sound of the wind, there was a faint sound of knocking on the firewood door, and Wu Youcai was startled.
How can anyone come at this time?
The neighbors who came to help have already gone back. Mr. Hu, who cares most about him, also has a family to take care of. Neighbors with whom I have some friendship on West Street have already sent me money, and the Wu family has no other relatives.
While he was thinking this, he heard the knocking on the door outside stopped, followed by a "squeak-".
The door was pushed open and someone walked in.
Wu Youcai raised his head.
Dark clouds made the sky dark and gloomy, the mourning hall was lonely and desolate, the paper money in the courtyard was like snow, and the footsteps of someone approached slowly and unhurriedly.
The woman's whole body was wrapped in a plain white dress, and the strong wind blew the corners of her clothes. The frost-colored silk flower on her temples was as clean as mutton fat. In the candlelight of the crumbling mourning hall, and in the flying paper money in the courtyard, her eyes were clear. It gradually appeared, like a dream in a hurry, it seemed fake but still real.
Wu Youcai looked at the woman in front of him blankly and thought: Why is she also wearing mourning clothes?
The woman stopped in front of him and looked at him with lowered eyebrows: "Master Wu."
Wu Youcai suddenly came back to his senses.
“Doctor Lu?”
The person who came here was Dr. Lu Yan from Renxin Medical Center.
He shuddered and quickly stood up: "Why is Doctor Lu here?"
Ever since his mother passed away, he had been in a state of confusion. He didn't remember until now that he hadn't seen Lu Zong for a while.
Wu Youcai was extremely grateful to Dr. Lu. Dr. Lu had previously visited his mother and rescued her from the door of **** once. Later, he asked Miss Yinzheng to send medicinal materials to his mother every now and then.
Wu Youcai knew that the little money he gave for medicine was far from what Lu Zhu gave him. He had nothing to repay, so he could only keep this gratitude in his heart.
Lu Zhen put the gold bundle wrapped in white cloth into Wu Youcai's hand.
Wu Youcai hesitated: "Doctor Lu, I can't..."
Lu Zhen had already entered the mourning hall, squatted down in front of the burning brazier, picked up the yellow paper on one side and filled it with burning paper.
Wu Youcai was stunned.
The day was gloomy, and the lights in the mourning hall were brightly lit. She was dressed in pure white, with hairpins in her hair like snow. In this overcast sky, she looked like a ghost bride crawling out of a grave. She was young, beautiful, and thin and cold.
Wu Youcai felt a little chilly for no reason.
Lu Zhen asked: "Are you going to end up in Qiuwei on the first day of the next lunar month?"
Wu Youcai was stunned for a moment and replied: "Yes."
He then squatted down in front of the brazier and burned paper money into it together with Lu Zhuo. In fact, the living people don't know whether the dead people can receive the money, but they always have something to think about.
Wu Youcai said: "It's a pity that mother can't see..."
In the past few years, every time he came home from the examination room, his mother would be waiting for him at home. But this year he is the only one left. When he comes back from the exam, there will no longer be light coming from the windows in the house. When he opens the door, he will no longer see his mother sewing under the lamp.
He was immersed in grief when he suddenly heard Lu Zhuo say: "Actually, this is a good thing."
Wu Youcai raised his head, wondering what she meant by her words.
“Even if you end up this year, you won’t win. Rather than letting her down again, it’s better to let her leave with hope. Isn’t this a good thing for her?”
The woman's tone was as pleasant as ever, but the words she spoke were completely different from those in the past.
Wu Youcai was stunned for a while before he understood the irony in her words. He looked at Lu Chen angrily, his face suddenly turning red.
"you!"
"Are you angry?" Lu Zhuo smiled slightly, raised his hand and filled a piece of paper money into the brazier, "Do you know that your mother's illness is not terminal? If she was treated a few years ago, she would not be able to survive in just these few years."
“It’s a pity that it was delayed.”
Wu Youcai's face suddenly turned pale.
He naturally knows.
When his mother first became unwell, she did not tell him. At that time, she was devoted to the fresh fish shop. She just wanted to sell a few more fish every day to save money for his books, and she did not want to delay the business of the fish stall.
Later on, I gradually started to feel uncomfortable, so I went to see the doctor without telling Wu Youcai. The doctor told Aunt Wu that she needed to rest well and use expensive medicinal materials to treat her illness. Aunt Wu was reluctant and worried about missing the fish stall business, so she gritted her teeth and endured it.
Until she could no longer hide it, Aunt Wu told Wu Youcai about her illness. When he took Mrs. Wu to see the doctor again, it was already too late. It doesn’t take just taking care of yourself to take good care of yourself.
The person in front of him was still talking, and every word he spoke seemed to be poking into his heart, "Her disease can be cured as long as she uses nourishing medicinal materials to warm her up and rest when she is first discovered, but because I want you to study with peace of mind, I will not delay you." I ended up making a name for myself, so I missed the opportunity.”
“It was you who delayed her.”
There was a "bang" and there was thunder in the distance.
Wu Youcai covered his face, a low moan of pain escaped from his throat. He murmured: "It's me, it's my fault... It's my incompetence, it's my lack of ability..."
If it wasn’t for him, if it wasn’t for him, how could my mother have sacrificed so much! He has been pursuing fame all his life, thinking that his talents are not appreciated, but in fact he dares not admit that his talents and learning are mediocre and he has achieved nothing!
It was he who killed his mother!
The Confucian scholar buried his face in his fingers, tears dripping from his fingers. The regret in his sobs made the faces next to him move.
Lu Zhen raised his head and looked at the distant sky.
Ordinary people are always like this. When encountering something, they blame themselves and regret. They always look for the reason from themselves, and they want to blame themselves for all the faults in the world.
Is it the same for father and mother?
When they learned the bad news about Lu Rou's death and Lu Qian's imprisonment, would they also blame themselves for not protecting their children? Would they be as hard to let go as Wu Youcai? Will you shed tears from your heart? Will you cry?
The flames licked the yellow paper, illuminating the dark mourning hall.
Lu Yan lowered her eyes and looked at the wailing man. After a long while, she said: "Wu Youcai, it has been twelve years since you were dismissed for the first time when you were eighteen."
“It’s been twelve years, haven’t you ever wondered why you never passed the exam?”
The crying stopped suddenly.
The Confucian scholar raised his head, his face stained with tears. He said blankly and subconsciously: "What?"
“If you were really mediocre in talent and learning, why did you persist for twelve years? Is it because you believed that your article would definitely win a gold medal and become famous all over the world?”
She took out a piece of folded paper from her sleeve and put it in front of Wu Xiucai.
The Confucian scholar looked at the paper in front of him and murmured: "What is this?"
"Since you were dismissed for the first time, there is a list of Shengjing Qiuwei's successful candidates. Those who have been circled are famous dandies in Shengjing." Lu Yan said: "You only need to inquire about these people to know their knowledge. Shallow. Why can they hit it but you can’t?”
Wu Youcai looked at her and subconsciously repeated: "Why?"
"Because of luck." She rolled her eyes, "Do you believe it?"
As if a bright light flashed in his mind, Wu Youcai vaguely guessed something, but he didn't dare to say it, and just stared at the person in front of him.
"There are many possibilities." She started, her tone still calm, "For example, they bribed the examiner of the Ministry of Etiquette and made a fuss about the ranking. Or they bribed the examiner and hired someone to take the exam for him. Or maybe, your If you swap papers with someone else's papers, your ranking will naturally become someone else's."
"You only have paper, pen and knowledge, but no money or connections. Mr. Wu, how can you fight for fairness with others with just such little things?"
∣
Another thunder exploded, and the cold wind howled from outside the door, as if it was about to blow into his heart.
Wu Youcai shook his head: "Impossible...This is impossible..."
"Why is it impossible?" Lu Yan smiled, "If you think about it carefully, are the articles you have written over the years really so bad?"
Like a muffled thunder hitting his face, Wu Youcai was speechless.
If he wasn’t confident in himself, why would he persist for twelve years? He is not a stubborn person who does not know how to adapt. If he really feels that there is no hope, he will find other ways to survive. There is no way to live in this world, and he does not have to go to the dark side.
He just wasn't willing to do it.
Scholars and friends all said that his writing was splendid and unparalleled by others, and he himself thought so. Unexpectedly, twelve years have passed, and he has changed from a high-spirited young man to a mediocre middle-aged man. Year after year, picking the golden lotus is still far away.
The eyes of his neighbors gradually changed from envy to ridicule, and perhaps sympathy. He could not avoid those expectations and asked himself every night, is he really talented? Will he really have another day in high school?
However, today there was a person who told him that the reason why he had been unable to realize his long-cherished wish for so many years was because someone had taken away "fairness".
“If it’s true,” the Confucian scholar pursed his lips, his eyes as bright as fire, “I’m going to report them. This kind of fraud is so heinous that the people from the Ministry of Rites will investigate it thoroughly—”
“Who will believe you?”
“The government will investigate!”
"The government themselves are involved in this, so why should they investigate themselves?" Lu Yan said sarcastically, "I'm afraid if you report the matter to the government, you won't even be able to get out of the government gate."
Her voice was soft, but Wu Youcai's heart completely calmed down.
What Lu Zhuo said is very possible.
Over the years, he has had doubts, but whenever his doubts reached this point, it was like a taboo, and he did not dare to think about it further. It seemed that if he continued to think about it, there would be a bottomless abyss. However, today there was a person who had no scruples in tearing apart the illusion and showing him this unbearable and naked reality.
With thoughts in his heart so chaotic, Wu Youcai looked at Lu Shu and said hoarsely: "Why are you telling me this?"
Why are you telling him this?
Tell him the truth when he is confused, and then force him to admit the reality that is impossible to change after telling him the truth, and make him recognize his own incompetence.
“Because,” she said, “I want to help you.”
"help me?"
Lu Zhen smiled slightly.
The coffin is black, the curtains are white, and the boundary between cold and warm is blurred. Her eyebrows are incredibly beautiful under the light, but the silk flower on her temples is blooming in full bloom. For example, those evil ghosts dressed in the skin of beauties come out of books on a rainy day to make deals with people.
You know she has bad intentions, but you can't refuse.
She said: "Now the entire examination room has been bribed, and people in the Ministry of Etiquette have also been colluded. In the past twelve years, there have been countless examiners. You failed every time, and every time someone who shouldn't have passed the exam has passed, you know What does this mean?"
“It means that every year the examiner is bribed.” Wu Youcai replied dully.
"Yes, if the fraud in the imperial examination is not dealt with, then after you burn mourning papers and buy land to bury your mother, you will be just like before, living in mediocrity for the rest of your life. This is your fate."
These words were so terrifying that Wu Youcai couldn't help but shudder.
He looked at Lu Yan as if he were looking at a Bodhisattva and a goddess who suddenly descended from hell. His eyes were even a little pious, hoping that the other person could show him a clear path in this bottomless abyss.
“Doctor Lu, what should I do?”
Lu Zhen asked: "Wu Youcai, do you want fairness?"
"think."
“If the people in the Ministry of Rites are really bribed, and your repeated failure over the years is actually due to examination fraud, are you willing to expose it, no matter what the cost, even your own life?”
"willing."
“Okay. I’ll tell you what to do.”
Wu Youcai looked at her blankly.
“If you file a complaint before you are dismissed, without any evidence, the officials will most likely arrest you or even silence you. Unless you are dismissed after dismissal.”
“After the end?”
“Yes, after the exam, all the candidates will be in the exam room. If there is a substitute, they will take the paper and the stolen goods. But..."
“But what?”
“But you are a soft-spoken person and a collusive official. Maybe they will find a reason to arrest you and release you after the autumn, and the evidence will be gone.”
“Then there’s no other way?”
“It’s not that there’s no other way, just make things bigger.”
Wu Youcai was stunned: "Are you going to make a big deal out of this?"
"That's right," Lu Zhuo said in a relaxed tone, "If there is a loss of life in the examination room and a lot of people die, it will not be a trivial matter that the Ministry of Rites alone can deal with. The Trial Court, Zhao Prison Division and even the Military and Horse Division will all appear, The more people there are, the harder it is to reduce big things to small things. When the interests of all parties are mixed, things that were originally simple will become complicated."
Wu Youcai grasped the key point of her words: "What does it mean to take someone's life?"
Lu Yan smiled and did not answer.
The sky is getting darker, the wind is howling in the yard, lightning flashes in the clouds, and a heavy rain is coming.
Wu Youcai looked at Lu Shun.
The woman's thin silhouette was encased in a plain white shirt and skirt. In her slender palm, there was a packet wrapped in oil paper.
Her voice was also gentle, with a hint of calm bewitchment.
“Those examiners are dishonest and disrupt the officialdom, causing talented people to be suppressed by those without talent. If it were me..."
Wu Youcai murmured: "What would happen if it were you?"
She smiled slightly, put the paper package in Wu Youcai's hand, leaned close to his ear, and spoke word by word.
“Of course, kill him.”
“Boom—” a sound.
Thunder rolled over, and a bolt of lightning illuminated the dark mourning hall, and also illuminated her indifferent eyes.
In the yard, heavy rain fell.
(End of this chapter)