Chapter 63:
After coming to Huaicheng No. 1 Middle School for a month, Lin Yujing felt that something was wrong.
She began to have frequent insomnia.
Lin Yujing felt that she was calm now. She really didn't think about anything. Every day, her mind was full of papers and classes, and she didn't have time to think about anything else.
I don't know why, I can't sleep.
Insomnia is a very painful thing. It's different from staying up late. Lying dry, closing your eyes and trying to empty your mind, but you can't fall asleep, waiting for the time to pass every minute and every second, and the feeling of waiting for the dawn. Very anxious.
She put Shen Juan's book under the pillow, and it actually had some effect. I don't know if it was a psychological effect.
It's just that after falling asleep, I am not at ease. I often have a lot of messy dreams. When I wake up in the morning, I don't remember a minute, I just feel bored in my heart.
Anorexia ensues.
I didn't want to eat anything, my stomach was upset, and I forced myself to retire for a long time after eating, until I couldn't spit out anything.
In this way, I slept an average of two or three hours a day and my anorexia lasted for about half a month. Even the little girl at the table saw it and asked her, "Have you lost weight a little too fast recently? "
Lin Yu sometimes felt that her unbelievably big-hearted little tablemate was like a sunflower in full bloom in this depressing learning environment. Listening to her words, she felt a little more relaxed.
She lowered her head and wrote the English paper, her eyes followed the tip of the pen and quickly swept the line to read the question article, without stopping: "I don't know, I haven't weighed in a long time."
Sometimes she feels that she is very powerful now, no matter how poor the quality of sleep at night, how many hours of sleep, or how uncomfortable her stomach is, as long as she sits in the classroom during the day and opens the test paper with a pen in her hand, her spirit and concentration will be fully Concentrate in.
Little Ruanmei sighed: "Don't you look in the mirror, I don't think your face is very good, here—" She pinched her fleshy face, "It's all thin."
Lin Yu raised his head in shock and looked at her: "Next English class."
Little Ruanmei: "I know."
Lin Yu asked in surprise, "Have you finished memorizing the words?"
Little Ruanmei was silent for a second, and then she went to read the English book with a wow, and said that it was over, over, over.
After going back to the dormitory for self-study in the evening, Lin Yujing took a shower and wiped the mirror full of water vapor, and looked at himself in the mirror seriously.
It seems that he has lost a lot of weight, his eyes seem to be a little bigger than before, the dark blue and black under his eyes are very heavy, and his chin is as sharp as a face-lifting needle.
Haggard and haggard like a street child who has had one meal but not the next.
Lin Yu sighed in amazement, went to the cafeteria to buy a raw porridge, forced himself to eat a small half bowl, and within two minutes, dropped the spoon and rushed to the toilet, hugging the toilet to start a new round of vomiting.
In the second year of high school, she could go home once a week, and then in the third year of high school, she would have classes on Saturdays and Sundays, one day off for half a month, and on weekends, Lin Zhi came to pick her up.
Lin Zhi's face has been ugly for the past two weeks, especially today. Before, she would ask her about her studies this week in the car, how the weekly test results were, and how many points. Today, she didn't say a word, and the two of them were silent all the way. .
until almost home.
Lin Zhi suddenly threw her hand to turn the steering wheel, the car made a "thorn" sound and stopped suddenly on the side of the road.
Lin Yujing was still looking out the car window, and after more than ten seconds, he regained his senses and turned his head slowly.
Lin Zhi looked at her from the rearview mirror with cold eyes: "Who are you doing it for?"
Lin Yujing looked at her blankly, as if she didn't understand.
"Look at what you've done to yourself now? What do you mean? Take revenge on me?" Lin Zhi sneered and said, "You don't think it works, you know my temperament, do you think you can do it like this? Affect me? I'll tell you Lin Yujing, you don't have to do this, it's useless to me."
Lin Yu was shocked to understand.
She turned her head again indifferently, and turned her head to look out the car window.
Outside the car window is Huaicheng in winter. People on the street are wrapped in thick coats against the wall and walk forward with their heads lowered.
She didn't know what City A was like at this time, but the winter temperature in Huai City was much higher than that of the Imperial Capital, but it was still cold.
The kind of damp and bone-chilling cold can be felt through the thick layer of the door, and it is indescribably cold.
"Mom," Lin Yu said, looking out the window in shock, "I can't eat and I can't sleep."
Lin Zhi didn't speak, pursed her lips, her eyes were a little red, as if she was trying her best to restrain her anger or something.
"It's like this every day. I try very hard to make myself better, but it's useless," Lin Yu said in a stunned voice, "Find me a psychiatrist."
The psychiatrist Lin Zhi found opened a private psychological clinic called Yan Heng. He looked about forty years old, wore glasses, was handsome and gentle, and spoke very slowly.
The clinic was on the top floor of an office building. Lin Yujing pushed open the door and went in. The man put down the book in his hand and raised his head: "Lin Yujing?"
Lin Yujing politely said hello, "Hello."
Yan Heng smiled: "You look a lot like your mother."
"Ah," Lin Yu was stunned, "Ah..."
"She looked exactly like you when she was sixteen or seventeen," Yan Heng said, closing the book and standing up, "Is your mother annoying?"
Lin Yu was shocked: ...?
Lin Yu was surprised that this person's words sounded a little inexplicably subtle.
She cleared her throat, not knowing what to say.
Yan Heng pointed to the single sofa in front of the floor-to-ceiling window: "Sit down."
Lin Yu walked over, sat down, and watched him take a cup from the cabinet by the wall: "Do you drink coffee? I have the Geisha coffee that someone gave me before. I just made a pot," he said. Turning around and winking at her, "I have never had such expensive coffee, it is said that it tastes fruity."
Lin Yu gave a startled smile and felt a little more relaxed. Seeing him come over with two cups of coffee, he couldn't help but say, "High calcium tablets, fruity."
Yan Heng was stunned for a moment, then sat down opposite her with a smile: "You are more interesting than your mother. When she was your age, she was an eldest young lady who only respected herself, and the princess was sick."
Lin Yujing finally couldn't hold back: "You and my mother..."
"Classmate from high school," Yan Heng sat down opposite her, "but don't worry, I won't tell her a word about what you told me today, I still have this professionalism, and I hate it too. she."
Lin Yu was shocked and didn't speak, and took a sip of the coffee that was said to be expensive.
It seems to have a fruity taste.
"Your mother briefly told me about your situation. You were in City A before, didn't you?" Yan Heng put the coffee cup on the table and said something in dialect.
Lin Yu was stunned and raised his head.
"I'm from City A," Yan Heng smiled, "I studied in the imperial capital in high school, and then came back."
Lin Yujing didn't understand what he said after that, and when she heard the familiar dialect, she was a little confused.
Shen Lian sometimes also speaks.
His voice is very nice, and he is more **** than his peers. When he speaks dialect, he is a little softer than Mandarin, low and gentle.
He also taught her a few words that are often used in daily life. She said it was not standard, so he leaned his head against the wall and laughed, listening to her lame pronunciation, joking lazily: "You are an A from Xinjiang. City people?"
The little girl glared at him: "School bully, you are very arrogant, I have a hundred ways to make you unable to stay in No. 8 Middle School, do you believe it?"
Lin Yujing quickly lowered his head, raised his hand and rubbed his nose.
Yan Heng is a person who is very easy to make people feel close. Maybe psychiatrists are like this. They have their own ways to build trust in them in a very short period of time.
Lin Yujing finished his speech briefly, but Yan Heng didn't interrupt much. He occasionally asked two questions. Until the end, he looked at Lin Yujing and asked warmly, "Do you want to call that little friend of yours?"
Lin Yu was shocked and did not speak.
think.
When I first went to high school, I went crazy.
now what?
Although there is no telephone in the dormitory, in fact, there is a landline in the room of the social management aunt on the first floor of each dormitory building, and students usually call their parents.
Lin Yu was shocked to find out about this half a month ago, but she didn't fight.
Yan Heng stared at her: "You are afraid."
Lin Yu's eyes drooped: "I don't know, I think I may not be able to hold on when I hear his voice."
When I didn't hear his voice, I thought it would be good to listen to the voice and make a phone call.
But desire is inflated.
When you really hear it, will you start to want to see him.
Are you desperately trying to escape this prison-like place?
"I still hope you can tell me the truth," Yan Heng said. "It's not just this that you are afraid of."
Lin Yu was shocked and did not speak.
"You're also afraid of your little friend's attitude, aren't you?" Yan Heng said, "You haven't met or contacted since then, and you think this time has been long enough for a person to change. From the beginning to the end, you have no confidence in your relationship. Coupled with the depressing environment in your school, several pressures have added together, which has led to your current state of anxiety. You are under too much pressure. already."
Lin Yujing pursed his lips in silence, but still didn't speak.
Yan Heng leaned on the sofa, and finally couldn't hold back and said, "What kind of evil did Lin Zhi do? She made a good child like this."
Lin Yu took a sip of coffee in surprise, and even laughed heartily after hearing this sentence: "I just don't believe this, I can't believe that there are people in this world who will... always like me, people always will change."
People who can't even get the love of their parents.
How can I expect others to love me.
"I rarely see a child your age, thinking so... rational and passive," Yan Heng sighed and said, "Do you want to hear my advice?"
Lin Yu took a deep breath and said, "Go ahead."
"Instead, I think it's actually good for you to be separated for a year and a half."
"Have you found out that the main contradiction in the relationship between you and your little friend is not your mother, not whether you are separated now, but you. Even if you haven't transferred schools now, you still hug each other all the time. With this kind of thinking, the problem between you will always exist, and sooner or later it will explode."
"You don't feel safe. He keeps dragging you, but you won't move. After a long time, he will definitely feel tired."
"So you can't be timid and hope that he can always pull you until one day he finally pulls you out, and he can pull you, but you still have to be willing to come out in the end."
Yan Heng spoke very slowly, and looked at her with gentle eyes: "Little boy, you have to try to believe that you can always be loved."
The post bar and forum of No. 8 Middle School have been very exciting for some time. On average, a new post will appear every few minutes. The topic of discussion is still the love story of the school bully.
In fact, there is nothing else, the main reason is that a certain Shen surname can't reveal his name and the school bully cheating incident was actually hammered.
The reason is that the poor heroine was betrayed, heartbroken, and lonely and transferred to another school.
Eighth High School lost a seedling who could hit the provincial champion—at least the city champion, the dean, and many other teachers were lost for a long time.
Especially Liu Fujiang, the head teacher of Class 10, can be described as grief-stricken.
He has always liked Lin Yujing, and his favorite student left as soon as he left, which was not a big blow to this old and brand-new head teacher.
But he still decided to believe in Shen Juan. Since the last time Shen Lin's CP and humanities incident, Mr. Liu Fujiang has learned to read posts and forums. When he came to the office, he said in despair, "Shen Jian, you don't need to be under pressure, the teacher believes in you."
Shen Lian lowered his eyes, didn't speak, and was a little distracted.
Liu Fujiang was indignant and continued: "You and Lin Yujing are both good boys, you don't need to listen to those people, they are all just looking for trouble, if you're idle and don't study, if you're just thinking about making things up, I just don't care at all. I don't see any invisible relationship between you and Lin Yujing!"
Liu Fujiang patted the table: "What a good and pure relationship you two have at the same table! Ah? Helping and learning from each other every day! These people know how to spread rumors every day!"
Shen Lian: "..."
He Songnan was considered one of the few people with brains. He began to wonder if his brother was on something unclean. He seemed to be unlucky recently.
"Look at you," He Songnan grabbed a spoon and ate two bites of fried rice at lunch break, and raised his head, "My girlfriend is leaving now, her whereabouts are unknown, which directly confirms the fact that you cheated."
Song Zhiming tapped his left hand to his right: "Real hammer, pull the brakes."
The restaurant is small and non-smoking. Shen Juan sat in it against the wall, biting a cigarette, and the fried rice in front of him didn't move.
A piece of cigarette ashes hangs on it, Shen Juan doesn't care, he looks down and doesn't know what he's thinking.
He has often been in this state recently. Although he didn't show any obvious decadence or the like, he basically didn't speak much. He looked cold and indifferent, and it seemed like something had sunk in his eyes.
He Songnan and Song Zhiming looked at each other, He Songnan sighed: "Master Tien, let's eat first, we can't meditate like this every day without a girlfriend."
Shen Lian raised his eyes: "Who told you that I'm gone."
"Then tell me where she is," He Songnan said, "in your mind?"
Shen Juan squeezed the cigarette in his mouth and took it out, knocked the ash into the plastic ashtray next to him that had four or five cigarette butts piled up, and then pressed it out: "I'm using my **** mind to talk to my unconscionable girlfriend about different places. Love, can't you?"
Song Zhiming: "..."
He Songnan clasped his fists: "It's too good."
More than a month after Lin Yu was shocked and walked away, during the winter vacation of No. 8 Middle School, Shen Juan started running between the studio and the hospital every day.
Luo Qinghe's state is still not optimistic, Shen's mother pushed all the foreign jobs, and she returned to City A.
In the end, it was her own mother. Mother Shen could almost see at a glance that something was wrong with Shen Lian.
The hospital was quiet. Mother Shen sat by the bed, looked at Shen Jian who was standing by the window, and asked in a low voice, "Besides your uncle, has anything else happened to you recently?"
Shen Jian didn't speak, leaned against the window sill, slanted his head against the snow-white wall, looked at Luo Qinghe lying on the bed, his expression was light, and after a while, he said, "It's nothing, a cat ran away."
Mother Shen was stunned: "You have a cat?"
"Well, I picked it up," Shen Jian straightened up and lowered his head, thinking of the girl who was standing at the door of the studio with a blank face that afternoon, "he came to the studio by himself."
"If you run, just run. If you like it, go to the cattery and pick one," said Mother Shen. "Most wild cats are unfamiliar, and it's normal to run away."
Unfamiliar?
Shen Juan narrowed his eyes: "If you're not familiar with it, just grab it back and tie it up later."
Three months after Lin Yu was shocked and walked away, the eighth middle school started after the year.
Shen Yan's last semester's things were basically kept in the school and did not take away. In the new semester, he changed to new books, and he took out the unused books from the previous semester from the table.
Books and papers, thick piles, Shen Juan are all stacked together on the table, a high pile.
Wang Yiyang rushed in from the door of the classroom like the wind. The first thing he did was come over, trying to give him a hug: "Dad! Dad! Long time no see! Ah!"
He bumped it up, and a few books were knocked off the high stack of books on the Shenwan table, and a few fell to the ground, and one fell on the empty desk next to it, and the pages flew. .
Shen Juan sighed and glanced at Wang Yiyang: "When can you let Dad save some snacks?"
Wang Yiyang pouted and picked up the book that had fallen on the ground, while Shen Yan picked up the book that had fallen on Lin Yujing's desk, and folded the pages, revealing the first page without his name on it.
Get tired.
He will definitely write his name on his book, but there is no other reason, it is his stuff, he must be habitually marked.
Shen Wan lowered his eyes and flipped through the book that was obviously not his. There were also words on it, which occasionally appeared in the margins of the book, in a lazy, casual and familiar font.
Shen Jian was stunned, stood there and turned two pages, and a piece of white note paper fell out.
Shen Juan lowered his eyes and picked up the piece of paper.
A poem was silently written on it, and the handwriting was a bit scribbled and floating, and it was obvious that it was written in a hurry.
——The first time I saw it before the grass steps, and I met upstairs through the needle. Luo skirt fragrant dew jade hairpin style. Beautiful makeup, brows are green, shy face is pink and red.
——The flowing water will follow the spring, and the clouds will end up with whom. Sober up and hate Jin Pingkong. Looking for the road of dreams, flying rain and falling flowers.
"Linjiang Immortal" by Yan Jidao.
Shen Juan felt that Lin Yujing had copied the whole of the first year of the single science year in Chinese, so he dared to leave such an incomprehensible thing to him.
He looked at the piece of paper for a long time before his shoulders suddenly collapsed.
The fire in my heart continued to burn like this, and the more it burned, the more vigorous it became.
As soon as he closed his eyes, all that came to his mind was the face of the girl who looked at him with red eyes.
"You can allow me to leave for a while, but you will pull me back."
"You can't abandon me, you won't let go."
Even the eyelashes are **** clear.
Shen Wan leaned back, slumped in the chair, raised his head, put the back of his hand on his eyes and smiled: "I owe you a **** in my last life."
Angry and helpless.
What else can be done.
wait.