Chapter 2: abyss
On the night of March, the weather in Zhongjing was piercingly cold.
It was obvious that Shen Xi had been breathing this kind of air for decades, but at this moment, Shen Xi closed her eyes intoxicated, as if she could feel the smell of the air.
That is the taste of freedom, the taste that Shen Xi has been thinking about for ten years.
The satisfied Shen Xi slowly opened her eyes. Under the dazzling neon lights, the word "Shutu" hung there quietly, attracting waves of night returners from the city , This is the place that Shen Xi is most familiar with besides the Shen family. Since the age of 15, Shen Xi has been a regular visitor here. Compared with the cold Shen family, Shen Xi prefers the liveliness of different routes.
Shen Xi laughed, made trouble, died in a drunken dream, and finally here, fate played a joke on Shen Xi, and he personally ruined everything.
In laughter, Shen Xi remembered how she was waiting eagerly for Tian Wenyao to accompany her on her eighteenth birthday, and how she was a little disappointed. Hu Penggouyou took a lot of hallucinogens under the pressure, and how did he find an empty room and fall asleep at will, until he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.
He endured the cold and waited in the night wind for several hours. He drove his car into it without hesitation. Finally, with blood in his eyes, he was hurriedly taken away by the police. Before leaving, he turned his head back inadvertently, and the words of another way pierced into the bottom of his eyes.
In this life, Shen Xi was not angry, he walked out of a different path sober and calm. Standing at the door of Shutu, feeling the breath of freedom, Shen Xi finished laughing and completely forgot about it.
Without driving, Shen Xi just walked aimlessly along the road in Zhongjing late at night. Without the previous ups and downs, Shen Xi calmed down and thought about the path she planned to take in this life.
In the last life, Shen Xi was ignorant for the first eighteen years, and numb for the next ten years. He never clearly thought about his own path.
No, Shen Xi actually thought about it.
vision. The Tian family did not intend to kill Shen Xi directly, but instead tried to torture Shen Xi little by little like a cat playing a mouse. In the beginning, Shen Xi was often injured. When it was quiet at night, Shen Xi would not be able to sleep because of the pain. Without a doctor and no medicine, Shen Xi could only grit her teeth desperately to endure it, and then pretended again and again in pain that if he hadn't driven into Tian Wenyao and Shen Rong, what would his life be like?
Shen Xi imagined all kinds of beautiful life for herself, but she thinks too much. Once her reason returns to reality, under the huge contrast, Shen Xi can only be double the pain.
As Shen Xi passed the day in prison, as freedom became more and more hopeless, until Father Shen extinguished Shen Xi's last yearning for freedom, Shen Xi was finally complete Dead heart, every day only think about how to live. In his spare time, he never thought about that question again. What would his life be like if he didn't drive into Tian Wenyao and Shen Rong?
Now standing on the tall pedestrian bridge, the lights of Zhongjing in the night are brilliant, Shen Xi suddenly has a momentary panic, ten years of abnormal life in prison, can he still adapt to this world?
In my memory, the eighteen-year-old Shen Xi was gloomy, irritable, and rebellious. Ten years later, Shen Xi is still gloomy, but her temperament has been tolerated a lot. The water chestnuts on her body have been smoothed out bit by bit with the years, and finally changed beyond recognition. Can these two completely different Shen Xis be the same Shen Xi?
Without the ecstasy of just being reborn and the excitement of being free, Shen Xi stood on the overpass, and the night wind whistled over his body. In the biting chill, Shen Xi tortured herself, how should he go on on his way?
If the eighteen-year-old Shen Xi is a lost and trapped beast, his heart is full of hatred but he does not know how to express it. If the conflict comes to vent, the twenty-eight-year-old Shen Xi is actually not much different from the eighteen-year-old Shen Xi. His heart was still full of hatred, but the painful experience made him understand that this time he should vent in a different way.
Shen Xi stared coldly in the direction of the Shen family, there must be no different tonight than before. The father would take Shen Ji to familiarize himself with the company's affairs in the study, and at the same time, the two of them were waiting for Shen Cheng, who returned late. When the father and son reunite, they begin to stage a family drama, and they will always be the one they forget. Not to mention who among them will remember that tonight is his birthday, the eighteenth birthday of their blood-related son and brother.
Shen Xi remembered what Fang Luowei once said to him, "If you stare at the abyss every day, the abyss will stare at you every day." At that time Fang Luowei took this sentence The words persuaded Shen Xi to give up the hatred in her heart. Shen Xi thought, how did he answer Fang Luowei at that time? It seems to say that he does not need to stare into the abyss every day, because he lives in the abyss.
Shen Xi is not Fang Luowei, he does not have such a broad mind, he can smile at those who have hurt him. He is narrow-minded, and he will retaliate when he is jealous. He keeps in mind all the damage done to him bit by bit, and then finds a suitable opportunity to take revenge and go back. Because of this, no one dared to attack him at will in the next few years, because everyone knew that unless he was killed, he would definitely come back with revenge.
Thinking of Fang Luowei, how is he doing now? It's a pity that he only knew that Luo Wei would come to Zhongjing in five years, but he didn't know where Luo Wei would be in five years. They met in prison in the last life, Fang Luowei was imprisoned five years later than him, and the two became friends by accident. Fang Luowei is different from him. He is sunny, upright, and sticks to the bottom line. If Fang Luowei is by his side now, he will definitely say that there is a rare chance to come back. You must let go of the past and live a good life.
Shen Xi thought about it, and laughed alone.
He also wanted to let go of the past like Fang Luowei, but Shen Xi thought how could he forget it so easily? Not to mention ten years of prison life, how could he forget how he developed such a gloomy and irritable temper when he was only eighteen years old.
Since I can remember, my father has always looked at him with cold and undisguised disgust in his eyes. He is a child not expected by his father. Although his mother loves him, she pays too much attention to her own emotions because of her disagreement with her father, and completely ignores him. When he was six years old, his mother jumped down from the window sill on the third floor, leaving him with only a vague back. The only grandfather who loved him wholeheartedly, also left him with his mother when he was six years old. Shen Ji, the eldest brother, was very indifferent to him, and always regarded him as a stranger, not to mention that Shen Cheng, who was nominated as the second brother, had bullied him in various ways since he was a child.
I am not liked by my family and have no friends. What can I look like in addition to being gloomy and irritable?
Speaking of which, Shen Xi felt that she was really pitiful. In the long eighteen years, apart from his mother and grandfather, the only one who gave him warmth was Tian Wenyao. Unfortunately, the warmth he cherished in his heart was also It was just a random bet by the other party.
The negative emotions in her mind were rampant, Shen Xi closed her eyes, since I am already in the abyss, then you all come to accompany me.