Chapter 62:
After leaving the Li family, Shen Xi realized that she was not as happy as she expected.
These two people, one is his father and the other is his brother, should have been the closest person to him, but the reality is that they wished he hadn't been born, and he was calculating step by step, wanting them to have nothing to suffer for the rest of their lives.
Shen Xi stepped on the accelerator hard, the car had been pushed to the limit by him, and the cold wind was pouring in from the open window, and Shen Xi didn't seem to feel cold. At the next intersection, he turned sharply and turned towards the cemetery.
The cemetery on winter nights closed very early, and the administrators also went back to rest early. Only the rows of dark yellow street lamps silently accompanied countless cold tombstones. The whistling night wind shuttled between the empty cemeteries, faintly listening to a kind of grief like weeping. Shen Xi skillfully climbed over the wall and quickly came to the place where her mother was sleeping.
In the dark night, her mother still smiled brightly, Shen Xi stared at her mother's smiling face, and did not act for a long time.
The conversation between Shen Bixue and Shen Ji appeared alternately in her mind, Shen Xi slowly reached out her hand to cover her mother's face, and a cold touch came from the palm of her hand, which made Shen Xi wake up. He never knew that his mother had done such crazy things for his birth. There seemed to be reasons for his father's indifference and Shen Ji's indifference, but he only felt distressed for his mother.
What kind of bad situation can force the mother to be like this? To make the mother feel that only when Shen Ji and Shen Cheng disappear, can she be born?
In the past few years, the father can rightfully hate his mother, and he also hates himself, and Shen Ji can rightfully hate his mother, and he is angry with himself, but the mother has been lying quietly. Here, all her love and hatred, all her emotions disappeared with the jump that year, and can no longer be put into the world.
Why did my mother do this? The mother is the legal wife of the father, how can the father deprive the mother of the qualification to bear children? Fang Yun can give birth, Zhou Mingmei can give birth, why can't mother?
Could it be that Shen Ji is his father's child and Shen Cheng is his father's child, isn't he? Is he not even qualified to be born?
Shen Xi sat down against her mother's tombstone, screaming desperately with unwillingness in her heart. He wanted to ask his father why he treated his mother like this and treated him like this? Is it just because of the ridiculous true love in the mouth of the father?
The messy thoughts flashed in my mind, and there were footsteps in the distance.
"Xiao Xi!"
Shen Xi stared at Li Mingxuan blankly, not expecting that he would find here.
"Xiao Xi." Li Mingxuan's voice trembled as he stood in front of Shen Xi.
Shen Xi silently looked at Li Mingxuan for a while, then lowered her head and looked away. He doesn't want to talk now, just wants to be with his mother quietly. No matter what Li Mingxuan wanted to say after chasing after him, he had no intention of listening. Shen Xi's resistance was very obvious, Li Mingxuan was sour in his heart, he didn't speak again, just sat quietly beside him.
Shen Xi silently accepted Li Mingxuan's coat, lowered her head and buried her face between her knees. Li Mingxuan stretched out his hand and gently stroked Shen Xi's back. Neither of them spoke, and the cemetery fell into silence again.
Shen Xi and Li Mingxuan left the Li family one after another, and Shen Ji also followed. Hearing the news that Li Mingxuan was chasing Shen Xi, Shen Ji tried his best to squeeze a reassuring smile towards Shen Bixue, ignoring Shen Bixue's worried gaze, and left Li's house in a daze.
Shen Xi's words always echoed in his mind, and the words "self-deception" were stuck on his head.
Driving into the street, Shen Jicai found that he had nowhere to go. Subconsciously turning to the direction of the Shen family, Shen Ji parked the car on the side of the road and silently looked at the Shen family in the dark.
This is where he has lived for nearly thirty years, where he was born, where he called out his first father. He was held in the arms of his father here, and he was reprimanded by his father here for being naughty. He saw here that his mother became seriously ill and became weak, and he also saw that his father was heartbroken because of his mother's departure. He will always remember his father's statement before his mother's death that he will have only one wife in his life, and the mistress of the Shen family will always be his mother.
Mother passed away with a smile, and the scene of his father holding him in despair and pain is still vivid in his mind. In a blink of an eye, the Shen family will welcome a new mistress.
He was dissatisfied, he lost his temper, he didn't want a new mother, but for the first time his grandfather, who had always been fond of him, gave him a straight face. He wanted to go to his father and questioned why his father had promised his mother why he couldn't do it, but he saw his father drinking heavily in front of the wall full of pictures of his mother, calling out his mother's name.
My father is so painful, how can I feel sorry for my mother? It's all the woman's fault.
Shen Ji was very repulsive to Han Rou's appearance, and this repulsion was further deepened when she heard the servant's whispers behind her.
"The two young masters are so pitiful."
"Yes, my mother died, and there is no strong uncle, in case Miss Han gives birth to a child, according to the background of the Han family, the two young masters probably have no place in this family. ."
"I heard that Miss Han has a bad temper and seems very arrogant?"
"If it's true, the two young masters will be out of luck. Who would like the child born in front of him, what are you doing if you can't keep them together?"
The servant's words were fulfilled later.
Han Rou didn't like them, after he refused to call her mother, after Ah Cheng's crying all night long attracted his father's attention, he noticed that Han Rou's attitude towards them became more and more Getting impatient.
When Ah Cheng fell ill again and Han Rou insisted on going back to Han's house, her father and her first quarreled. He clearly heard Han Rou's complaint, "He wasn't born to me, what do you think I can do? Do you have to pretend to be sad?"
Han Rou's words left a deep imprint on Shen Ji's heart.
After that, there were more and more quarrels between the father and Han Rou, and the time for the father to come back became less and less. Every time Shen Ji saw Han Rou, he would feel that Han Rou made his father angry, and his father was unwilling to come back. Shen Ji didn't know when Han Rou was pregnant, he only remembered that one day his father came back to visit him and A Cheng, and Han Rou appeared in front of them happily. Then he heard Han Rou speak, "Xiao Ji, do you want to have another younger brother?"
Shen Ji answered simply, "I don't want to." He always remembered what Han Rou said when Ah Cheng was ill. He doesn't like Han Rou, so how can he like the child born by Han Rou.
He couldn't remember what Han Rou's expression was like at that time, but he only remembered the sympathetic look of the servant when she heard that Han Rou was pregnant. The relationship between the father and Han Rou became more and more cold, and Han Rou's temper became more and more strange until that happened.
Shen Ji covered his face and laughed lowly.
After that incident, Ah was greatly stimulated and stayed in the hospital for a full month. But Han Rou didn't get any punishment, just because she gave birth to Shen Xi early in her father's wrath.
After so many years, Shen Ji didn't know that her father took care of Zhou Mingmei when Han Rou was pregnant, Han Rou's strange temper was more because of Zhou Mingmei, but so what? ? It's a fact that Han Rou doesn't like them, it's a fact that Han Rou takes action against A Cheng, and it's a fact that Han Rou insists on marrying her father.
Because of that incident, my father was more concerned about him and A Cheng, and he personally took care of all the basics Time to visit them and accompany them to read and play games. In his eyes, his father loves his mother, he and Ah Cheng, and his father is the best father in the world.
With the death of Han Rou, they moved back to the Shen family, and he knew of Zhou Mingmei's existence, but he could see his father's memory in front of his mother's photo, and his father's warm words to them In the right way, watching his father patiently accompany A Cheng to play games, how could he bear to blame his father.
Shen Ji laughed out loud, Shen Xi scolded right, he is a fool who deceives himself, he does not want to face the fact that his father betrayed his mother again and again, he is afraid that the image of his father in his heart will explode Collapse, like his father, he is deceiving himself.
This evening, Shen Ji sat at the door of Shen's house for a whole night. He didn't know what he was thinking about. He seemed to think a lot, but he didn't seem to think about anything. As the sky gradually became brighter, Shen Ji pushed open the car door and walked over, slamming the door of Shen's house.
On the same night, Li Mingxuan sat with Shen Xi in the cemetery all night.
The sky was slightly bright, Shen Xi moved her frozen body, and hesitantly looked at Li Mingxuan beside her. Li Mingxuan's coat was draped over him, and there was only a thin coat on his upper body. He was immersed in his emotions last night, and he didn't know how Li Mingxuan spent the whole night with him.
Seeing Shen Xi turn her head, her mood seemed to return to normal, Li Mingxuan smiled, stretched out a stiff hand to rub his hair, and said softly, "Do you want to go home?"
Li Mingxuan's hand swept his forehead with a biting coldness. Shen Xi's heart softened, she nodded, and stood up silently.
Before leaving, Shen Xi took a deep look at her mother's smiling face. No matter what her mother had done or missed, she had paid for it with her own life.
The rest is what my father owes my mother, and what he owes him, he will take back what is left.