Chapter 65: like the taste of a person

Chapter 65: like the taste of a person

    As soon as the bathroom door slammed, a dark figure came out, Fang Li's voice was small: "Brother Ruan, I just took a shower."

    Ruan Qingmu looked at his figure and narrowed her eyes.

    After a while, he nodded: "Oh, just came back?"

    "Hmmm..."

    Ruan Qingmu suddenly reached out a hand, grabbed his arm, pulled him into the bathroom, and closed the door.

    Bai Jing and the boys in the dormitory are a little confused: What's the matter? What is so mysterious?

    The lights are out, the bathroom is small, cramped and dark inside.

     Ruan Qingmu leaned against the door with her back to the door, holding her arms, her eyes shining brightly in the dark night: "I left so early for the evening self-study, and only came back after turning off the lights, what are you busy with?"

    Fang Li shrunk in the corner and said nothing.

     Ruan Qingmu sighed softly: "I don't mean to spy on your privacy. I just want to take care of you as a friend."

    Fang Li remained silent.

    "Okay, you really don't want to say it, forget it." Ruan Qingmu nodded and turned to pull the door, "Go to bed early."

    Behind him, Fang Li finally spoke with a trembling voice: "Brother Ruan, it's me."

     Ruan Qingmu turned around: "What are you?"

    Fang Li's voice was weak: "The person you just saw...is me."

    Ruan Qingmu stared at him and said in a low voice, "What are you doing? In the middle of the night, it has scared people several times."

    Fang Li was silent. In the silence, there was a very subtle sobbing sound, depressed and sad.

    Ruan Qingmu took a deep breath: "When the teacher finishes checking the room, I'll wait for you at the stairs, ten minutes, or I'll go back to sleep if you don't come."

    …

    The men's dormitory is usually checked within half an hour after the lights are turned off. The male teacher on duty shines a flashlight from room to room. After checking the last room, he yawns and returns to the duty room on the first floor.

     Ruan Qingmu slept in Li Zhiyong's bedroom, waited for a while, got up and got out of bed.

    When he quietly walked to the stairs at the corner, a figure was already sitting on the stairs, waiting there.

    The green escape emergency lights in the corners were dimly lit, illuminating the corners of the fourth and fifth floors a bit gloomy. Fang Li's slender figure was shrunk there, half of his face was shining with silver moonlight, and half of his face was shining green light of emergency lights.

     Ruan Qingmu stepped on her slippers and sat down next to him slowly.

     "

    Fang Li lowered his head and said nothing.

      "

    No wonder there is always a legend among the boys that there are ghosts in the style building at night, Fang Li dances there secretly like this, and flees when he sees someone coming, who is not afraid of it?

    Fang Li finally whispered: "Brother Ruan... Tell me the truth, am I disgusting?"

    He lowered his head, his thin and slender neck seemed to be about to break: "Brother Ruan, you are good, even if you don't like something, you won't really say it. But I... feel so uncomfortable."

    Ruan Qingmu sneered: "Fang Li, listen to me. A person is disgusting, only because he really hurts people or has a bad heart."

    His voice was calm and arrogant: "As for how that person is deviant, how is he maverick, and what does it have to do with others?"

    Fang Li shook his head, his voice choked: "But I'm not a maverick... I really want to be the same as everyone else."

     Ruan Qingmu sighed: "It doesn't matter, even if it's different from everyone, it's actually nothing."

    He thought about it for a while, and tried to consider the words: "Do you only like to wear girls' clothes, or... think you are a girl?"

    These days, he and Qin Yuan also took the time to search the Internet for related knowledge, but they were still a little cloudy.

    Gender cognitive impairment and transvestite are different concepts.

    Seeing that Fang Li remained silent, Ruan Qingmu felt regretful again, and waved her hand quickly: "Forget it, don't ask me. In a word, no matter what you are, you are me friend."

    In the dark night, Fang Li was motionless, and after half a day, his shoulders shrugged slightly.

    Ruan Qingmu looked down suspiciously, and sure enough, under the faint moonlight, Fang Li was crying.

    "Brother Ruan, I...I don't know." He whispered, "When I look like that, I feel very happy. Especially when dancing."

    He raised his hand in embarrassment and wiped his face: "When I was a child... I never went to kindergarten. My mother was the pillar of the folk dance in the song and dance troupe, and has always been the A corner. Later, because of my father's Just got sick."

     Ruan Qingmu listened quietly.

    "It's not a physical illness, it's a mental illness." Fang Li whispered, "I don't even know what my father looks like, only that he and my mother were originally on stage. Partner, everyone said that they were a perfect match. But when my mother was pregnant with me, he fell in love with another actress in the group, and was caught by my mother. My mother has a strong temperament and directly Just leave him."

     Ruan Qingmu nodded: "Oh, scum."

    "My mother was out of shape when she gave birth to me, and my father's incident hit her hard, and her career was wasted for a while. As a result, when she wanted to cheer up, her A corner was robbed of me again. Dad's actress was robbed...she's been in a bad mental state since then."

    Ruan Qingmu frowned, suddenly remembering the woman screaming when she was talking to Fang Li.

    "Why are you in a bad mood?"

    Fang Li's voice was a little desperate: "Mania and depression are mixed together, a kind of mental illness. It gets better after taking medicine, and it's quite scary when it starts."

     Ruan Qingmu hesitated for a moment: "You just lived with her like this?"

    Fang Li shed tears silently: "Well, she can usually take care of herself, most of the time she is quite normal, and it is not as serious as hospitalization."

      After a few years, he also resigned from the regiment and disappeared in the North Drift army.

    Only **** stubborn, not going anywhere, full of past glory.

    Even when his neighbor and her mother quarreled over daily trivial matters, they would sneer and sneer: "I thought it was the past, the scene A corner, the flowers are full of flowers, and the whole group is holding you?" "

    Fang Li was stunned for a while before he said: "In the years when I was a child, she was not convinced and could not go to the stage. She went to the stage to practice Falun Gong every day, and she didn't send me to kindergarten. I was alone. Locked at home, without toys and friends, I can only find my mother's cosmetics and play, and my mother's colorful stage costumes in the closet..."

    On the walls are pictures of his mother's past blooming on the stage, the room is deserted, and only those things are with him.

    The mother in the photo smiles so softly and dances so beautifully, which is completely different from the usual hysteria.

    So, dancing can make a person beautiful and gentle, right? …

    When he came home exhausted, he was wearing makeup and dancing clumsily, not only would he not be angry that he smeared her makeup and stained her beautiful costume , but will hug him up and kiss him with a smile.

    He exhausted all his strength, and finally made those dances more and more decent.

    And such a hug, a kiss, seems to be the rare moment of affection he can get.

     Ruan Qingmu cursed in a low voice: "Fuck!"

    There is no father, and there is only one mother left. But his mother still laughs when she talks about his dead father, and treats his only son as the apex of her heart.

    What the **** is Fang Li living like?

    "Did you learn dancing later on?" he asked, suddenly remembering Fang Li's long endurance and physical performance at the sports meeting.

    Fang Li shook his head woodenly: "No... But my mother has a lot of stage videos. She saw that I liked dancing, so she was happy to show me her videos. The happier she is, and sometimes, she will cook the food herself."

    The fire in Ruan Qingmu's heart was a bit burning again, and she was so irritable that she just wanted to jump up and punch something hard

    —what a trash mom! Shouldn't my mother be like Mu Wanli, always changing her way of making delicious food for her children?

    "Afterwards, when I am a little older, she will take me to the training room in the regiment, she will practice hers, and I will play mine." Fang Li said in a low voice, "I have seen too much. , naturally.”

    And sometimes when she is in a calm mood, she will guide him personally.

    I have no other friends, nor have I been to kindergarten.

    Ah... It's not that I haven't been there at all, it seems that I sent him there for a while. But his mother often forgets the time in the practice room, and even forgets to pick him up.

    After that, the kindergarten teacher who could not leave work was not happy, so he was forced to go home. So later, all his childhood was spent in the dance studio with his mother.

    It is natural to learn women's dance postures.

    In the dead of night, Fang Li's voice was very low, and it took a long time for the choking to stop slowly.

    "Brother Ruan...I didn't know I was weird at first." He looked up at the small window beside the stairs, as if he was locked at home and looked out when he was a child, "When I was in elementary school, , the first time I entered the school gate, some boys in the class chased after me and asked me if I was a boy or a girl. When I entered the men's bathroom, some troublesome boys ran over and slapped my pants.

    "I was very afraid, so I started to change...but I couldn't help showing it." In the night, Fang Li's face was as pale as thin paper, "But the more I change, the more I, The more you think about it.”

    The boundless shame oppressed him: "I only forget those unhappy things when I wear girl's clothes, wear girl's makeup, and dance."

    Ruan Qingmu nodded: "So this is your way to decompress."

    Fang Li whispered, "Well...when I'm feeling down, I want to dance secretly by myself. After dancing, I seem to be much happier."

    Seeing that Ruan Qingmu was silent, he smiled in despair: "You won't understand."

    Ruan Qingmu frowned: "It's important that others don't understand, can't you just be happy? Don't say that I like to dance in women's clothes, I just like to dance without clothes, what's the point!"

    Fang Li's eyes were miserable: "It's not like this, everyone clearly thinks in their hearts... Only perverts do this."

     Ruan Qingmu looked at him and said word by word, "You pervert, you're not in the way."

    Fang Li shook his head painfully: "You said this to comfort me. Even Fu Songhua, he, he said I..."

    "I heard him say that that day." Ruan Qingmu took a long breath, patiently, "He thought it was a thief at that time, and he didn't know it was you."

    "Whoever it is, he finds that disgusting doesn't he?"

    Ruan Qingmu endured: "It's just unintentional words, you don't want to be a bullshit."

    Fang Li suddenly exclaimed excitedly, with a sharp voice: "If you don't mind, it's the most real idea!"

     Ruan Qingmu was taken aback, and quickly reached out to cover his mouth: "Grass! Be quiet, do you want to invite the dormitory?"

    The place where the palm touched was cold and damp, and Fang Li's face was full of tears.

    Ruan Qingmu slowly put down her hand and looked at his delicate and haggard face.

    For a long time, he asked Fang Li silently, "Why do you care so much about that stupid big man?"

    Fang Li raised his head, stunned.

     Ruan Qingmu stared at him and continued calmly: "You have peeked at his photos on your phone several times, and I have seen them all."

    He is not a nosy person, let alone care about other people's gossip.

    But Fang Li's seat was right in front of him. Several times, during lunch breaks and between classes, he accidentally saw the phone screen of Fang Li in front of him.

    Glancing at the past, the screen is full of the figure of a certain guy, some play arbitrarily on the basketball court, proud and stinky, and some are doing exercises on the podium with a lively air .

    The picture is not very clear, like a careful and hurried candid shot.

    Fang Li's lips trembled and his face became even paler. He almost panicked: "I... I don't, I just look at it casually."

    Ruan Qingmu looked at him quietly, her eyes were a little strange, like sympathy and understanding.

    Fang Li avoided his deep gaze, and was a little incoherent: "I, I have no other intentions, I just think others are nice... No one is so nice to me."

    He looked up at Ruan Qingmu, and he was so anxious that he wanted to cry: "No no, Brother Ruan, you are better to me. But, it's different..."

    He couldn't speak anymore, covered his face, and the boundless sense of shame and despair flooded him.

     Brother Ruan's good thing is to cover him and help him drive away the people who bullied him.

    But Fu Songhua's good thing is to chase after him and laugh at him alone.

    From childhood to adulthood, he was careful to please others, his classmates, and his mother.

    Only this person will look back at him with a smug smile when he is flying around the field; he will notice that his food expenses are not much, and he will specially take a meal card to ask him to eat more; At the sports meeting, he would hold a snack bag and stuff it to him like a treasure;

    In the wechat every night, I will tirelessly call: "Xiao Fangfang, Xiao Lili! What are you doing? Have you done your homework? Don't remember to ask me, I am a pre-grade student. Ten!"…

    Everything gives the illusion that he too deserves to be treated with care, as if he were a special treasure.

    Ruan Qingmu looked at him for a long time before reaching out and patted his shoulder.

    "Fang Li, don't be afraid." He thought about it before saying seriously, "No matter what you think, don't be ashamed of this, understand?"

    Fang Li stared at him blankly.

     Ruan Qingmu smiled softly.

    "I mean, it's not wrong whether you like wearing women's clothes, dancing girls, or who you like, as long as you don't hurt others."

    He was a little ecstatic: "I never thought about what it was like to like someone before. But I thought about it just now, and I think it should be very good."

    Fang Li did not speak.

    Ruan Qingmu stood up and stretched: "Let's go, go back and have a good sleep."

    Fang Li followed him and silently walked to the door of his bedroom.

    Just as she was about to push the door in, Ruan Qingmu suddenly called out behind her.

    "Fang Li."

    Fang Li looked back in surprise.

    Ruan Qingmu stood at the entrance of the stairs leading downstairs and gave him a thumbs up: "Forgot to mention. It's very beautiful."

    Fang Li stood blankly with tears in his eyes: "What, what?"

    Ruan Qingmu stood sloppy, but her expression was serious: "Whether it's dancing or wearing girls' clothes, it's very beautiful, really."

    …