Chapter 71: Love and Hatred
Why Ferd came to Evan did not bother Evan for a long time. Early the next morning, Ferd came to Delane Lille Church again, and this At one time, Evan couldn't even put on the priest's robe, and could only stare at the slightly panting Ferd in surprise.
Folder was not feeling well at this time. He didn't dare to look Evan's eyes directly, his expression was a little hesitant, and his expression was very embarrassing.
Evan felt a little surprised. He had fought with Ferd several times, but he had never seen Ferd like this.
"Is there anything you want me to do? Mr. Ferd?" Evan opened the topic first.
Folder pursed her lips, looking a little embarrassed: "I... I heard."
"Have you heard?" Evan's heart moved slightly, but he looked at Ferd with some doubts on the surface: "What did you hear?"
Folder coughed a few times, looking more embarrassed than before: "It's...it's my father's business." He was a little vague, looking more embarrassed than before.
Evan made a sudden realization at this time, and then his expression became embarrassed.
"That thing, I really..." Although Evan also imagined the situation after Ferd knew, but at this time he didn't know what to say.
"Please don't say any more." Ferd suddenly interrupted Evan's speech, with a hint of shame on his face: "I don't know that my father went to find you. , the matter between the two of us is not what it is now, but I want to ask you if those rumors were spread by you at that time!"
At that time, Evan refused to attack Ferde, although he did not say it himself, but it was actually very deep. The reason why he hated Evan was that on the one hand, his life was destroyed. Hatred, but there is also the unwillingness that the pure feelings suffered a huge blow back then. Now he suddenly knows that it was his father who planned it. His original deep love and hatred were at a loss for a while. At this time, he can only grasp this point and let him Do the final struggle yourself.
Evan looked at Ferd, relieved, and couldn't help sighing: "Mr. Ferd, please tell me first, how did you know about this?"
Folder heard him ask, a trace of pain flashed in his expression, he clenched his fists tightly, and whispered: "Do you think that as long as you don't say anything, I will not You know? Don't you think you're a saint by hiding everything like this? Bruce, you shouldn't lie about this, and you don't need to ask me how I found out about it, you just need to tell me the truth! "
Folder suffered a huge blow from the duke before, as if he was fighting again, but he did not expect to find the secretary of his father when he was looking for evidence. They were chatting I talked about Evan at that time, and then all the past events came to him like a tide. He could hardly imagine how his father, who was known for his ruthlessness and strictness, dealt with Evan when he was still a child.
Evan looked at Ferd, who was a little excited, and felt helpless for a while, and his tone was gentle: "Mr. With the respect of the deceased, your father made me make an oath never to speak. I don’t want to break this promise, but now that you know everything, I will tell you frankly and honestly that your reputation was damaged back then. , although I didn't do it, but for this matter, I blame myself, I made the wrong friends, which caused you to suffer such harm, if you want to hate me, you can hate me, it's all my fault ."
Every word Evan said made Ford's fists clench even tighter, until at the end, he looked at Evan with red eyes and almost roared in a low voice: "Is that all you want to say about this matter?"
Evan lowered his eyes, with a hint of pity in his expression: "Your pain has made me feel at ease all my life, so I devote myself to religion, I hope the Lord can resolve the remorse in my heart, but so For many years, I still feel very sorry for you, Mr. Ferd, I am really, really sorry, I don't know how to resolve my sins, I don't know how to make up for you, I am more I don't have the face to ask for your forgiveness, this has made me miserable for the rest of my life and can't face it."
Evan said the sincerity, the sadness and pain in his tone almost made the gods cry, but Ferd's expression became more and more bad.
"Is this what you want to say?" The same question as before, but this sentence is more like being squeezed out of the jaw, but with a stern force.
Evan raised his head to look at Ferd with some doubts, his eyes were red, and there was a hint of madness and unwillingness in his eyes.
"Mr. Verde?" Evan felt something wrong.
"I ask you, do you really have nothing else to say?" Ferd stared at Evan, as if he wanted to see something from him.
Evan felt more and more strange. What this Ferd wanted to do seemed a little different from what he expected.
"I...I have nothing to say..." Evan's tone was slightly uneasy.
Folder looked at Evan, looked at his calm eyes, looked at his doubtful expression, the breath that was originally held in his chest suddenly fell, he really didn't know, What are you expecting.
Folder closed his eyes in despair. For so many years, he seemed to have become an obsession with this person. He always appeared in the deepest part of his dreams and became his lifelong nightmare , he changed from love at the beginning to hatred at the end. This kind of emotion that has exhausted his whole body and mind seems to have become an emotion that he can't get rid of in his life, and even become a part of him.
That reason has nothing to do with him. Although he took this matter on himself, he is not an unreasonable person. The old secretary of his father told him the reason that his father investigated, and Evan said the same thing, it's not his fault, but his credulity.
Folder loosened his clenched fist and let out a long breath. When he looked at Evan, his eyes had recovered.
"I'm sorry for what I've done these days." Ferd looked at Evan coldly, all his emotions were hidden in his deep eyes.
Let this thing end completely, those love and hate, those pains and struggles, all end!
Evan was relieved when he saw Ferd who had regained his composure. This person's mood was really uncertain.
"You don't have to be sorry." Evan's expression was still gentle: "This is all my fault, and I will spend my life repenting."
Folder nodded indifferently, and without saying more, turned to leave, but when he reached the door, he suddenly stopped and turned his back to Evan: " I'll leave Delanlier tomorrow, and I won't bother you again."
Without waiting for Evan's response, he quickly left the church.
Looking at Fuld's back, Evan was speechless for a while, Fuld is really difficult to understand.
**
Folder walked through the field paths in the countryside and watched the rising sun in the distance. For some reason, he felt a little empty in his heart. Since he knew the truth yesterday, he has been eager to see When it came to Evan, he didn't know what he was looking forward to, but it was definitely not such a polite and cold conversation today.
It was also at this time that he suddenly discovered that he was the only one who could never get out of the love and hatred of the year, and he was the only one who still stubbornly remembered the love and hatred of the year, remember When they met for the first time, I remember the way he looked when he called his name, the exaggerated expression on his face when he confessed to him, the pain in his heart when he left, the ignorance when he was young, as if It's a painted oil painting that makes my life so boring and dry.
He was not a likable character at that time, but there was such a person who always followed him, maybe because of habit, maybe because of loneliness, he let that person go for the first time He entered his own life, but the result was so tragic, so tragic that he felt trembling all over when he thought about it now, but after so many years, he reminisced about that period of life over and over again, and made those love, hate and hatred tight. Tightly clenched in the palm of his hand.
What he likes, what he hates, what he suffers, what happiness is, all belongs to him.
It belongs to his love, belongs to his past, belongs to his life.
Folder stopped, raised his head and looked at the clouds in the sky, squinting his eyes, such a strong feeling that he was almost hollowed out, and now there are only endless Empty, maybe he will find a girl who is not very beautiful but very gentle in the future, have children with her, and live a normal life, which is also good.
The dazzling sunlight made Ferd squinted, and it seemed that a cold liquid slipped from his eyes. It was raining, Ferd thought, it was really strange, why? Will it rain suddenly? Ferd wiped off the liquid from the corner of his eyes as if nothing had happened, and walked quickly in his direction.
Everyone has to go forward, he can't go back.
**
Evan was in a relaxed and comfortable mood at this time. For him, Ferd was an indefinite bomb. Don't worry, and finally don't have to worry.
Evan stood in front of the altar, looking at the crucifix high above, with a compassionate and gentle expression, as if it was not him but the world who suffered, and suddenly a memory suddenly churned from his mind and It's all about Verde.
Folder was gloomy and mean when he was young, and his unhandsome face always had a sneering smile, but it was such a Verder who was so tall and reliable in memory , When he laughs, a pear vortex appears at the corner of his mouth, when he frowns, the end of his brow droops slightly, when he is angry, his fingertips tremble slightly, and when he calls his name, the end sound is lingering and soft.
Different from the dry and vague reading memory before, the memory at this time is like a real and clear dream, he looked at him and Foer through Evan's eyes German youth time.
Evan's headache seemed to burst, he knelt on the ground, and his hands were tightly grasping the front.
Suddenly a drop of cold liquid fell on the back of his hand.
Evan looked at the drop of water on the back of his hand in surprise.
It was a tear.
Tears of 'Evan'.