Chapter 35
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“Speaking here? Entering the warehouse?”
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“Good here”
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I thought it would be better to take care of the eyes because it would be a complicated story, but Lutz shook his head.
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“So what are you talking about?”
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Although the green eyes of Lutz burned with anger, the attitude seemed to be calm. Suddenly, Lutz uttered the first voice with a low voice hiding what he boiled at the bottom of his belly.
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“… Who are you?”
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I suddenly asked a difficult question. No matter who you say.
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I still think that I’m Reno Honsu, but I’m just mine no matter where I look. And I have been with this body for about a year and lived in this world, and I was no longer Reno Honsu.
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Reno rarely did anything from herself other than reading books. I didn’t leave my parents because the university was also a commute from home, and basically all the housework was left to the mother of a full-time housewife.
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There was no need to go out to the forest like this every day, collect food, try to enrich the diet, or make paper to read the book. If you read the books around you as you like, Reno, who was all right, is completely different from me now.
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Lutz, who seems to be wondering what to answer, is determined not to answer, opens his mouth while applying more power to his eyes.
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“Did you know how to make such a paper and have you ever made it?”
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“… I made a pretty different way before.”
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“That’s not Mine”
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“… Yes”
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As long as you have already been confident that you have failed to become a demon, no matter how many times you lie, nothing will happen. I answered honestly.
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“Mine can’t know. He rarely left home.”
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I know from Mine’s memory that Mine rarely left the house. Thanks to you, how hard it was to have no information at all.
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In the memory of Mine, who knows only in the house, you cannot catch a glimpse of the common sense of this world, and it is really hard to reconcile your common sense with this common sense. There are many times when I still think I have failed often.
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“Yes, Mine was a child who really didn’t know anything”
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“Who are you ?! Where did the real mine go? Return the real mine!”
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Lutz yells as if it was cool.
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However, I feel that I am much more relaxed than the words thrown at Lutz because I was much worse in my imagination or because I was prepared to come when the paper was completed. It is very different from the swaying sight immediately after the suicide.
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“It’s good to return the real mine … but better to go home instead of here?”
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My eyes broke into my eyebrows after Lutz’s eyes were amazed to see if I didn’t expect to respond.
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“Why is it?”
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“Why isn’t it hard to go home with a corpse? If I disappear, I’m probably left with a corpse. Wouldn’t it be troubled if Lutz killed me?”
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This warehouse is used by me and Lutz. Even today, going out with Lutz is known to both the family and the Benno store.
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If I lose consciousness in the warehouse and die as it is, there is a high possibility that all blame will go to Lutz. Will Lutz himself be guilty of guilt even if not blamed?
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I thought I was thinking about Lutz and suggesting that it is better to go home.
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“Oh, Oma, Nana, what are you talking about?”
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Lutz, who was stubborn in my words, began to panic with a strong face. It seems unexpected for Lutz that Mine doesn’t come back when I disappear.
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“That means you don’t have Mine anymore! Doesn’t it come back?”
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“Yeah, maybe …”
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Maybe I can only say.
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I myself can only explore Mine’s memory. I have never talked to Mine, and I have never been accused of returning my body.
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“Please answer this!”
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Lutz rubs me strongly. It 鈥檚 like a friend of justice who hates evil.
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I thought so and laughed small. That’s right for Lutz. I am the bad guy who hijacked my childhood sick sister, and Lutz himself must be a friend of justice trying to help.
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“At that time, did you talk to Otto and Benno’s husband about the heat? Did you eat heat and mine?”
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I was a little impressed with Lutz’s assumption that I had eaten Mine because of the heat that lay in my body. The part that Mine was eaten by heat is probably not wrong.
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“Half correct answer and half different. I think the real Mine was eaten by heat. The last memory was hot, helped, painful, disliked. I’m not that fever, and I’m sure I can eat it. “
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“What do you mean ?? You’re bad !? It’s because of you that Mine has disappeared!” Say that! “
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Gash and Lutz grabbed my shoulder and shook.
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My thoughts were overturned and I was excited, but the words 鈥淚 am bad鈥?and 鈥淢ine disappeared because of me鈥?were repeated many times, and it was hard.
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“I don’t like it and I’m not here! I thought I was dead but I became a kid when I noticed. If I was in a position I could choose, I chose a world where I could read a lot of books. I chose a noble class that can read books in this world, and I chose a healthier body instead of this frail and sick body, I didn’t choose a body that suffered from an intractable disease that suddenly spread and was swallowed.
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At the moment when I didn’t want to be Mine, Ruth looked like he was imaginary, and his hand holding his shoulder loosened.
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鈥淒id you not want to be Mine?鈥?
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“Lutz, do you want to be? First, you just get out of the house, you’re short of breath and the next day you sleep, you’re finally able to go to the forest, but growth is slow, Even now, if I’m not careful, I’ll get hot … “
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Lutz, who had been thinking for a while, shook his head loosely. The momentum that grabbed me disappeared and my eyes began to wander as if in trouble.
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“… Is you as hot as Mine?”
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“Yes, I think so. If you loosen the force to hold it down, the heat spreads and you feel like you can eat it. It feels like you are swallowed by heat or melted away. …… It’s difficult to explain “
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It may be difficult to imagine from my explanation, Lutz thinks with his eyebrows.
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“That’s why if you don’t like Mine’s body and you want Lutz to disappear, say it. It can disappear quickly.”
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Lutz, who was supposed to return the real mine, stares at me with a stunning expression. I was more confused by Lutz’s face, which seems to say what he was saying.
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“… shouldn’t it be better?”
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Lutz screamed as if it was cut in reverse, raising my willow eyebrows.
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“Don’t ask me! Why do you ask me ?! It’s strange to disappear when I say it disappears!”
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“It might be strange, but if Lutz wasn’t there … I disappeared a long time ago”
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“Wow !?”
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I talked to Lutz, who had a face that I didn’t understand.
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“Do you remember Lutz? Did you fall down when your mother burned the wood?”
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“Oh …”
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Speaking of that, Lutz says that there was such a thing. For Lutz, that was a big turning point for me.
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“At that time, I was wondering if I could be swallowed by heat. That was what I really meant to disappear. There was no mastery in a world without books, no matter how hard I worked. I didn’t have it and I thought I was doing it well. “
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I heard the sound of Gokuri and Lutz swallowing saliva.
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I was encouraged to continue with my gaze and closed my eyes lightly. Ruth’s face suddenly floated in the face of the family who was obscured by the hot food.
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“While I was swallowed up by heat, I suddenly saw Lutz’s face in my family’s face. I thought why I was doing it. I was so surprised that I was really surprised by Lutz. 鈥?/p>
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“That’s … I was surprised because it was a non-family face, so I didn’t mean my consciousness returned because of me?”
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I swung my head lightly to Lutz, who broke his eyebrows and exhaled.
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“I was surprised by Lutz when I first returned to consciousness, but at that time you told me that he would pick up bamboo so that Lutz wouldn’t be burned? I thought I was going to resist “
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“Bamboo was also burned by my aunt?”
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I speak to Lutz. I was able to clearly remember that feeling of collapse, which has gone through anger and regret. Just remembering, I still feel like the heat inside me gains power.
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“If I really don’t like anything and I don’t care about anything, I’ve been hit by a fever. I didn’t want to resist anymore, so it was okay to die as it was … with Lutz I promised, I remembered it. 鈥?/p>
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“Promise?”
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Lutz asked, 鈥淚 don’t remember making a promise.鈥?I don’t really remember it, so I’m looking up memory a little upward.
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After all, I smiled a little. For Lutz, I know that it was a word that was enough to get well. Still, it was an important word that kept me here.
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“I promise to introduce you to Otto. Did you say that you have to be healthy because bamboo is prepaid?”
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Listening to my words, Lutz himself remembered things he didn’t want to remember, as if he was embarrassed and held his head as if he was pointed out in Black History.
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“Oh, that’s not what I said to give you a favor … Oh, shit,”
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“So what did you mean?”
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“Don’t listen! Flow! Forget!”
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I wanted to mess with Rutz’s unexpected reaction, but now I am in a position to be condemned. I put up with Lutz’s request and pretend to look.
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“Well, I remembered my promises like that, and even though Lutz had a lot of things, I thought it wouldn’t be possible to disappear without giving back, but I tried my best to keep my heat down …”
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“……”
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“I met Mr. Otto and Mr. Benno, I made a promise, made paper, and if possible, I would like to make a book, but if I want Lutz to disappear, can I disappear?” ]
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Lutz stares at me with a bite like a bitter bite. After seeing me from the top to the bottom, the eyes that seemed to not miss a tiny lie drooped.
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“From when …”
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“Yes, what?”
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瑷€钁?I couldn’t hear the spilled words, and I leaned back and listened again.
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Lutz looks up and stares at me.
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“How long have you been Mine?”
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“… When do you think it is? From when do you think Lutz knew it?”
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Although I returned to the question with a question, Lutz was not angry but thought deeply about the void with a serious face. Look at me, whisper something small, face down and kick the soil at your feet.
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Lutz, who had been thinking for a while, raised his face as if he was relieved.
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“… this”
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Lutz pointed at my bag.
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“Did you get this?”
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I didn’t expect it to be a good fit, but I’m sure there is no one other than me. Even if I wasn’t a straight, straight line that could be unwound even if tied tightly, I would normally have tied it with a string.
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“… Correct answer”
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“It’s almost a year!”
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Lutz, who opened his eyes open, shouted at a speed as if to spit.
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Speaking of which, I became Mine at the end of autumn. Now that we are in the middle of autumn, the season is about to end.
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“That’s right. I just remembered that I was overwhelmed and fell down, but it’s almost a year.”
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More than half of the memories of my life here are falling and feverish, but this is still much more active than Mine, who spent most of her time sleeping.
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“… Is your family unaware?”
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“I don’t know. I’m aware of something strange, but don’t you want to think it’s not Mine?”
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Especially, I don’t think that Turi and her mother, who have been taking care of Mine who was at home, have noticed anything. But I don’t say anything because I don’t say anything. That’s why I think it’s a good thing because my life is made up.
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“And my dad said he was happy just because he was fine”
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“… So soft”
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uh, I turned my back, as Lutz, who exhaled, said the story was over. Touch the paper sticking to the board with your fingertips and start checking the dryness.
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If you are prepared to disappear, but the conversation ends without a conclusion, you will have trouble.
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“Hey, Lutz …”
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“… I think it’s not Mine but my family’s decision”
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Lutz was blocked before listening to everything.
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Says that it is the family who decides if I should disappear or not. But that doesn’t change me.
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“Well, will this stay for a while?”
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“It will be”
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I don’t understand Lutz’s real intention.
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Isn’t it fine if I’m not Mine and I’m living here?
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Is that okay?
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“That’s why I don’t decide …”
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I grabbed Lutz’s arm that wasn’t going to see it.
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I want to ask you what Lutz thinks of me, not Mine. Isn’t there any dissatisfaction with Lutz in maintaining the status quo as a result of talking so angry that much?
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“Lutz, should I be gone? Isn’t it true Mine?”
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Picri and Lutz’s arms moved. I thought Lutz’s arm I was grabbing was small, but it was my hand that really trembled.
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“… Good”
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“Why?”
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After asking again, Lutz finally saw me.
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寮?Play my forehead with a fingertip with a troubled, amazed face.
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“If you disappear, Mine won’t come back? And if you’ve been a year ago, I know you’re almost the mine you know”
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Talking about that, Lutz scratched the blonde. And I looked closely at me.
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The pale green eyes looking at me are crawling, and the first anger and the sword curtain are scattered. It was the usual Lutz eyes I knew.
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鈥楤efore I didn’t think I was training my body, so I was more frail.
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I met Rutz and Ralph just because I had enough hands with both hands.
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“… So my mine is fine”
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Something stuck in my heart in the words of Lutz.
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The fluffy thing settled down with Ston.
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It was an invisible small change, but it was an important change for me.
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