Chapter 210 I just want to say loudly, I am not a worthless waste
Jiang Youxi turned her head and looked at Cheng Mingming calmly.
His eyes have always been beautiful, and at this time, they are even more dazzling like gems against the background of the light.
But from his eyes, Cheng Mingming could only read peace.
Cheng Mingming also restrained her smile, and said in her slightly sonorous tone: "You have paid a lot, and now it is time to test the results. Next, you can receive an announcement and receive a soft leg, and you can earn tens of millions every year. It can even be higher in the future. And you are so young, if you find someone you can trust to help you manage your finances, twenty years later, before you are 50 years old, you will already have a net worth of hundreds of millions."
"What else are you dissatisfied with? You don't even want to laugh?"
Jiang Youxi smiled slightly.
The smile is not forced, it is a natural smile, and this smile does not mean much, it is a very simple smile.
"Sister, I'm not dissatisfied or unhappy. I'm just thinking about something."
"Thinking about what?"
"Think about how I got to where I am now, and where I am going next." He leaned back on the sofa, rested his head on the pillow, and looked up at the ceiling: "Sister, do you know, Actually, I don't like singing? I didn't like it since I was a child."
"I heard you mention it once."
Jiang Youxi's eyes were blurred, not like she was talking to Cheng Mingming, but more like she was talking to herself.
"My dad...or he's not my biological dad. Everyone in the town knows that I was born from my mother's affair, and I don't look anything like my dad."
"My dad... He used to be an auxiliary police officer. It is said that he was disabled during a police call and lost his job. Although the unit also compensated him some money, the money was not enough to treat him."
"But he was taken care of in the town. Later, he opened a mahjong parlor by himself, which is actually a small casino. The police also turned a blind eye, as long as he provided some information and clues to help solve the case. , to assist in the arrest."
"He was short-tempered and liked to drink. He was beaten a lot for as long as I can remember."
"He beat people very fiercely. Maybe he drank too much and didn't know the severity. He beat people to death. After the fight, I always had bruises all over my body. After being beaten, I can still breathe, and even if I am in pain, I am very fortunate that I have survived again.”
"At that time, I thought, I'm probably not his own. If it was his own, how could he be hit so hard."
"I found out later that I really wasn't his biological son. It was my mother who stole his life from him behind his back."
"But it wasn't because of this that he beat me so hard. Later, my mother gave him two more sons and one daughter, and he was also very fierce to them, especially my brother, who was very skinny since he was a child. He beat my brother more than He beat me brutally, and once got drunk, he broke two bones of my brother and sent him to the hospital to lie down for several months.”
"Probably the medical bill that time made him distressed, or maybe he was afraid that he would almost kill someone, and then he calmed down."
"My mother is a cowardly woman who always agrees with him."
"Maybe it was because of cheating in his early years that he couldn't keep his head up in front of him. So in our house, my mother never dared to speak aloud. My father beat us when he was drunk, and she just hid and cried, and dared not persuade her. A word of persuasion, she is a woman with a particularly low status."
"But it's her own fault. Who made her cheat? People in the whole town look down on her. Even if she is beaten by my dad, everyone will just applaud her."
"But my dad doesn't beat her. He never beats her. He scolded her fiercely. He often used the most obscene and vicious words to scold her, but he didn't beat her. Even when he was drunk, he only beat us, not her."
Cheng Mingming looked at him with pity in his eyes.
She has some understanding of Jiang Youxi's past. For example, she knew that he had an alcoholic and irritable father, and that he had a bad relationship with his parents.
But it was the first time I heard him say some words.
It even shocked her.
"When I was in elementary school,
Knowing that I was born by my mother stealing her life. It seems to be the second grade of elementary school. The class is spreading, no one talks to me, and no game takes me to play. It was as if I had germs on me, just pointing at my back. "
"They said, look, this is the bastard."
"I heard that his mother is a scratcher."
"What do you mean by scratching?"
"Anyway, it means a bad woman."
"He was born to a bad woman, so he's a filth. Don't play with him!"
"At first I was very angry, very painful, and I wanted to die in pain. But after a long time, it didn't matter."
"When I was in class, I sat alone at the back of the classroom. In PE class, other children went to play football and table tennis, and I ran alone."
"What's more uncomfortable is the music class. We have to sing and line up in music class. But no one wants to stand by my side, and they all look at me with disgust, as if I have shit on my body. I'll take a leave of absence from class."
"I actually want to study hard and get good grades. But I don't have the brain to read. No matter how hard I try, my grades won't be top-notch.
"I don't want to go home, because at home, I don't know when I will get in the way of my father, slapped or kicked by him."
"When I was in junior high school, my dad rarely beat me, saying that I grew up and became a man, and he wanted to show me respect."
"He really doesn't beat me very much, but whenever I don't do anything well enough, even if it's not holding the vegetables firmly, even if I make a noise when I'm drinking soup, even if I accidentally stain my clothes with ink, he will He yelled at me, called me worthless, and called me a worthless waste. Saying that I was so stupid, I shouldn’t be born to be shamed, and living is a waste of the country’s food.”
"My mother doesn't scold me very much, but she doesn't care about me too much. I didn't care about it since I was a child. I thought she was indifferent, but she was really kind to my younger siblings."
"Sometimes I look her in the eyes and I can read her eyes clearly. She's thinking: If only I hadn't given birth to you."
"Really, if she hadn't given birth to me, her life would have been completely different. I heard that my dad used to dote on her very much, but it was only after she cheated on her that it was not good for her. And even if it was bad for her , and never beat her. If she hadn't cheated, or if she hadn't left behind me, her life would have been much better."
Jiang Youxi looked at the ceiling and smiled, "What am I talking about, really."
Cheng Mingming was rare and gentle: "There's no need to suppress yourself, just say it if you want, sister, listen."
Jiang Youxi was silent for a long time before speaking again: "So in fact, my position at home is very embarrassing. Since elementary school, every day I tried to protect myself, survive, and then leave the house when I had the chance."
"When I got to junior high school, my dad stopped beating me, so I don't have to think about protecting myself. But I still want to leave home, so I don't have to be scolded by him every day. I want to live a personal life and live a nourishing and unrestrained life."
"It's said that reading changes my destiny, but I'm really not good at reading. When I was in the middle school entrance examination, I failed to get into a few good high schools in the city. If I passed the entrance examination, my parents would support me. It’s true that I’m cold, but I won’t be short of clothes and food, and I won’t get stuck in reading.”
"In fact, they are all kind people inside. It's just because of fate, and because of the weakness of their own characters, that they are all unhappy."
"Really, when I think about it now, I don't blame them anymore. It's just that there is always a tone in my heart. I don't want to prove anything, I just hope that one day I can tell him loudly that I'm not a useless waste."
Cheng Mingming sighed lightly.
She already knew what happened later. Jiang Youxi didn't go to high school and went to the city to find a job.
Later, I was lucky to find a musical instrument store. The owner's family is from the north and has played rock and roll before.
Jiang Youxi learned to maintain and maintain the musical instrument for more than a year, and gradually came into contact with a little knowledge of music theory, and occasionally sang and played the guitar.
Then it happened that Huayu was casting a wide net to recruit trainees, and the nephew of the owner of the musical instrument shop went to apply, but was not selected.
Jiang Youxi, who accompanied him to watch the fun, was attracted by the staff in charge of recruiting and signed him because of his excellent appearance and good voice.
That year, 2000, Jiang Youxi just turned 16 years old.
"Hey, Sister Mingming, have I told you that I used to hate music classes so much, but why did I like music later?"
Cheng Mingming thought for a while, "You didn't say it."
"Oh." Jiang Youxi narrowed her eyes, and the scene appeared again in front of her eyes.
It was the autumn of 1999, the leaves were turning yellow, the sweet-scented osmanthus had just bloomed, and there seemed to be a long-lasting fragrance of sweet-scented sweet-scented osmanthus in the air.
I remember it was still hot, stuffy and hot.
Jiang Youxi seemed to have returned to that time, feeling the heat and stickiness of the air.
The 15-year-old hurriedly delivered a guitar sent by a client for maintenance to an address.
It didn't take long for him to walk, and his body was soaked with sweat and it was too hot.
He lifted his sleeves to wipe the sweat, walking fast, but cautiously. The guitar he is carrying is very expensive. According to a few older seniors in the store, it is so expensive that he can go to the small country in the south called Annan to buy 10 very beautiful virgins and come back as wives.
So he was careful, for fear of breaking the terribly expensive guitar with a fall.
The small shops on the roadside played songs to attract business, which was also a feature of that era.
There is the latest one-man show, Ask, or at least you, sung by a very sweet-looking female singer named Su Manqian, which has become popular all over the country these days.
There are older ones, Xingyu Xingyuan, DIDADI, Notepad, etc. It is sung by a female singer named Duan Xiaochen. People say that she may be the next queen.
There are also "Love Like Tide", "Acacia in the Wind and Rain", etc., which are still hot at this time.
Naturally, there are also "The Great Wall", "Glorious Years" and "Nowhere to Be Ashamed" by the Walkers.