Chapter 91: That surrogate white moonlight

Chapter 91: That surrogate white moonlight

Extra.

When Gu Zhian was six years old, there were two strangers in the family.

One is a "mother" with a kind and gentle smile. One is a quiet and beautiful "sister" in a princess dress.

"Zhi'an, they will also be our family in the future. You have to get along well with your mother and sister."

She remembered that she nodded ignorantly at that time.

There was no resistance, no anger and anger. For the new mother and sister, there was no emotion except curiosity.

But later, her father tidied up her room, put a new bed, and told her when Yan Zhi would live in the same room with her in the future.

Suddenly, there was a vague sense of anger in her heart that she had been violated.

But she didn't show her anger.

She just smiled and handed her her doll bear, her voice soft,

"Sister, give it to you."

Later grew up.

In Gu Zhian's life, there was no so-called "children from other families".

Because Yan Zhi is her eternal role model and role model in her father's mouth.

Because of their close blood ties, and to avoid suspicion, my mother would not compare the two of them. She seemed to care more about what she thought than Yan Zhi.

But Dad is different.

He always said, "Zhi An, how are you, look at how Yan Zhi is doing, why don't you learn from her."

study?

But many things are predestined and cannot be learned.

Yan Zhi is beautiful, even if she secretly learned to make up later, and quietly made her eyelashes a little bit taller and her skin whiter, she still couldn't compare to Yan Zhi's clear soup and a long ponytail in her school uniform.

Yan Zhi is smart. When she was in junior high school, she racked her brains to surpass Yan Zhi.

But in the process of growing up, Gu Zhian gradually discovered that he had a unique talent.

She found that from a very young age, she could keenly perceive other people's joy and anger towards her, and could subconsciously make the other person's favorite expressions and say nice words.

Even if she is not beautiful or smart, she is still more likable than Yan Zhi.

At that age, boys' liking for girls is not only based on appearance. Gu Zhian is lively and outgoing, and his popularity is very good. The number of confession text messages received every month is almost twice that of Yan Zhi.

She regards these as the capital to win over Yan Zhi, and it is the only source of pride that she can raise her head when facing Yan Zhi.

But whenever she talked about it, she found that the other party didn't seem to care.

Yan Zhi is always quiet, light and docile.

No matter how she mentioned the liveliness of friends' dinners, the annoying confession letters and pursuits, and even the care and love of her mother, she still had such a calm expression.

But Gu Zhian knew that she couldn't care less.

All indifference is nothing but a disguise.

This kind of camouflage, in Gu Zhian's view,

— is a provocation.

In fact, from a very young age, the war between her and Yan Zhi started.

Gu Zhi'an didn't like Yan Zhi, because the opponent's talent was crushed, and it was a kind of jealousy that normal people would have compared to their better peers.

And this kind of jealousy, when it appears in sisters—but not in people who are not full sisters, will only deepen day by day, and eventually become terminally ill and there is no cure.

And Yan Zhi didn't like her because of her mother.

From childhood to adulthood, the energy that my mother put into Gu Zhi'an was much higher than that of Yan Zhi.

Her mother is not Gu Zhian's biological mother, but she treats her better than her biological mother.

It was so good that Gu Zhian was almost moved, and wished she could be the biological mother who gave him his own blood.

But then she gradually discovered that love and reconciliation will never be the same thing.

Her mother has always cared about her since she was a child.

If she wants to learn to paint, she will weigh the pros and cons, visit relatives and friends, and find the best painting teacher for her.

She wanted to apply to be an art student, so she found a lot of information, helped her to plan her future path, and persuaded her father.

She can write letters, talk to herself at night, care about whether she eats well, how well she gets along with her classmates, and what to do with her birthday party.

She is like the most sincere and tender mother in the world, respecting her own ideas and giving enough care and help.

— but she is also calm.

She said that when an art student was admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts, she fully respected herself.

Find out what she can do after studying art, which school is better to apply for, take herself to buy paints, go to exhibitions, and support herself patiently and kindly.

But when Yan Zhi wanted to learn the piano again, she frowned and refused.

The direction she considered for Yan Zhi was completely different from her own.

What major is good for finding a job after graduating, what industry can you work in to buy a house, learning the piano delays your studies, and in the end will only delay your life.

Sounds very mundane.

But Gu Zhian knew that that was the truest character and thoughts in the mother's heart.

Gu Zhian remembered that when he was in puppy love, his father was so angry that he almost broke his leg with a clothes pole, but his mother was not panicked at all, and she comforted herself and wrote letters to comfort herself.

Among all the methods, she found the most appropriate and suitable one.

But she's not that kind of person.

Just like when she knew that Yan Zhi was in a puppy love, her first subconscious reaction was overwhelming anger.

That day, she looked at the letter written by her mother and cried.

Not impressed. is uncomfortable.

The heart-wrenching cry she hugged her mother was just a catharsis.

The gentler, the more thoughtful, the more thoughtful the words in the letter were—the more cruel she felt.

The mother treats her like a perfectly set machine, strictly following the correct educational guidelines.

All her irrational, inappropriate, and irrational practices will never appear to her.

She is like facing a job, doing a project, drawing up a schedule, and then finding the most suitable way to deal with it.

Growing up, she was very, very kind to herself, but she had no love.

And she loves Yan Zhi, but she is stingy in giving a little favor.

So Yan Zhi didn't like Gu Zhian, and Gu Zhian didn't like Yan Zhi either.

From the first day they met, their mother gave Gu Zhian a new doll that originally belonged to Yan Zhi, and it was destined for a long period of growth thereafter, and they must have an antagonistic relationship.

On the day of the plane.

She finally hugged her family.

She lay on her shoulders, holding back tears, in a soft tone,

"Mom, you know what, you've never been a good mother."

......

Regarding Huo Xingchao, the first time Gu Zhian had a deep impression on him was in a gym class.

At that time, the sun was very strong, and my best friend said that a new boy was transferred to the school. He was super handsome, and he was also a fencer. After the physical education teacher announced free activities, almost all the girls in the four classes swayed on the open-air stadium intentionally or unintentionally.

To look handsome.

Out of curiosity, Gu Zhian also stayed.

She looked at the boy who called Yan Zhi's name, put the mineral water in Yan Zhi's hat, and smiled at the corners of her lips and eyes, and her eyes were brighter than the sun.

Just like Luffy in One Piece.

Huo Xingchao first attracted her because of Yan Zhi.

At that time, she was still trapped in the vortex of adolescence, the more brilliant and sweet she smiled, the more confused and dark her heart became.

A deformed darkness and desire churn and churn.

As long as it was Yan Zhi's stuff, she wanted to grab it.

But later, she found that she seemed to really love him.

But as Yan Zhi said, it's not that she doesn't have it, she can hold everything she doesn't want.

What's more, she has and wants a man.

The first secret love that really opened up in the first sense of love ended up in the end.

For myself, it was a long and grand tragedy. But to them, they are just a passerby.

On Yan Zhi's wedding day, she was in the lounge watching her make up.

She is very beautiful, with her hair down and a faint smile on her lips, which has not changed over the years.

When I was young, there was little water in clear soup, and Yan Zhi looked very good. Now with heavy makeup on, she's still incredibly beautiful.

Everyone went to buy lunch, and only the two of them were left in the lounge.

Gu Zhian smiled, "I wish you a happy wedding."

Yan Zhi also smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

Two years after graduating from university, during this six-year period, their communication was almost non-existent.

To say they were sisters, it would be better to say that they were strangers with a little connection.

Polite, restrained, and at peace with each other.

After a long silence, Gu Zhian suddenly asked,

"Yan Zhi, what is the most vicious thing you have done to me since you were a child?"

They both hate each other so much, and they are not tolerant saints enough. During the ten years of getting along day and night, they have never stopped fighting.

It's just that Yan Zhi is more proud, and most of the choices are mentally crushed.

And he is more despicable, language provocation and various small actions have become commonplace.

Yan Zhi raised his head, looked at her, and paused for a long time.

"Gu Zhian, in fact, when I was young, I was much worse than you."

"At that time, we were in the third grade. You lost your way during a spring outing, and after being rescued from the forest, you had a fever and lay in the ward for three days. My mother has been taking care of you, so she forgot to take me to buy it." To reward my dress."

"Later I came home from school and found that the dress had been bought."

"I went to the hospital to see you, and my mother went downstairs to buy food, and you lay on the hospital bed and slept with a needle in your hand. I suddenly thought, it would be fine if you died just like this. As long as you died, mother It's my mother alone."

"But I think the doctors in the hospital can definitely cure you, so at that moment, when there were only the two of us in the entire ward, a terrible thought flashed through my mind."

Yan Zhi paused for a while and said softly, "I thought about killing you at the time."

......

"Later, my mother came back and saw that I was sweating all over. She asked me what was wrong, and I ran out."

"I was running and running in the hospital, and suddenly I felt terrible. After that day, I swore that I would never do anything bad to you secretly, because this kind of thing is addictive, and I am afraid that one day I will really become An executioner."

......

The door was opened, and the food buyers gradually returned.

"Jizhi, I bought you a small rice ball. You are wearing a close-fitting dress today, and the stylist specifically told you not to eat more."

"It's okay, I'm not hungry yet."

Gu Zhian looked at the lively crowd in front of him, was silent for a while, and suddenly showed a relieved smile.

No one knows, in fact, when she was on a spring outing when she was a child, she got lost in the forest on purpose.

That dress was given to Yan Zhi by her mother who promised her the first prize in the math competition.

But she didn't want her mother to buy it for her.

But she was so sure that Yan Zhi would definitely win the first prize.

So she sneaked into the forest and hid there all night.

That night, all the fear, discomfort, and anxiety disappeared without a trace when they learned that the dress had been bought by someone else.

All that's left is the joy and pride of being successful.

Yan Zhi is right, doing bad things is addictive.

Day after day, year after year, turning himself into an executioner hiding in the dark.

Until there is no way out, and I also get blood dripping with myself.

She stood up and walked out quietly.

The breakup in the third year of high school was estranged from the indifference that lasted for six years - Yan Zhi rescued her.

Outside the hotel, the sun was very strong, pouring down the sky and covering the sky, and the thorny people couldn't help squinting.

Then Gu Zhian saw the man.

Wearing a suit, he is tall and straight, with a handsome face and a smile on the corners of his lips and eyes.

Over the years, he has gradually changed from a handsome and wanton teenager to a mature and stable man.

Nodding slightly to her, he raised his feet and walked inside.

From beginning to end, he was just a passerby in their love.

Gu Zhian bent his lips, sorted out his mood, and walked on the street with his own shadow.

It was as if she and Yan Zhi went home together many, many years ago, and Yan Zhi just walked on her own shadow.

She felt a little childish and funny, and asked her, "Yan Zhi, what are you doing?"

The girl turned her head against the light, her voice soft and serious,

"My shadow tells me to keep going."

......

Yan Zhi stood in front of the large floor-to-ceiling window, looked at the wedding ring in his hand, turned his head, and asked the man behind him,

"Huo Xingchao, there's something I've been curious about for a long time."

"uh-huh?"

"Back then, I hid from you for so long, why didn't you get angry? I thought that according to your character, you would definitely be angry."

The man leaned his head on her shoulder and chuckled softly,

"Because at that time, a voice in my heart told me that I couldn't be angry with Yan Zhi. If I was angry with her, I would lose her forever."

"...Liar."

"Okay, I lied to you."

Men are good-hearted,

"Actually, I can't bear to be angry with you."

"It's still a lie."

"I didn't lie to you. Yan Xiaozhi, you look so weak, but you are actually very proud inside. Your moral standards are much higher than ordinary people, and you never allow yourself to do bad things. But for me, you did it for the first time. Something terribly bad in your heart."

He kissed her with a smile in his tone,

"I thought at the time, you must love me so much."

"I don't want to be angry anymore when I think about it."

......

In fact, the memory of that time is slightly blurred.

But Huo Xingchao had some vague feeling in his heart.

Thank you for that voice anyway, he thought.

It was that voice that made him understand how much he loved this girl.