Chapter 194:
Ming Yuechen pursed his lips, his eyes were as deep as the bottom of the sea, his voice trembled unnoticed: "Do you... still remember his name?"
For Mo Ran, these things have already happened in the last life. She didn't find them in the last life, so she didn't put much thought in this life. Now that Ming Yuechen mentioned it, she couldn't help but think about it. …
"Why are you so interested in this?"
Looking at Mo Ran's very surprised expression, Ming Yuechen's heart jumped violently as if excited, but his expression remained the same, just like the usual smiling face when facing Mo Ran, without any flaws.
Even Ming Yuechen shrugged his shoulders, with a relaxed expression and didn't care too much: "I just think that being able to be reborn is like a natural choice, and naturally all the regrets must be made up, otherwise, wouldn't it be too wasteful? gone."
This statement is very correct, even a little bit can be refuted, but Mo Ran has a natural doubt about Ming Yuechen's words, she subconsciously begins to think about Ming Yuechen's motives for saying this, but no matter how she observes Mingyue The minister did not find any flaws, so he had to suppress this suspicion.
"What do you think?" Mo Ran raised her eyebrows.
"I mean, if you still remember the other party's name, let me see if I can help you find it here. After all, you are a dead person, so I think you have already looked for it." Ming Yuechen said it as a matter of course.
Mo Ran twitched the corners of her mouth. She really wanted to tell Ming Yuechen that she had never thought about it since she was reborn, but she swallowed the words again. Some things were said to be forgotten, but in fact they were not at all. She Thought to let go, in the end is just forget it.
After thinking for a while, Mo Ran decided to face herself frankly. She really wanted to know the information about that person, whether he was dead or alive, she wanted to know.
"Mo Xian."
Even Ming Yuechen himself didn't realize that when Mo Ran said this completely unfamiliar name, he finally let out a long breath. The smile on his face looked relaxed, and he even raised his finger in the air. Draw a few strokes: "Is it leisurely leisure?"
"No, it's a string of Sihua Nian. He has a
Mo Ran seems to have fallen into the memories of her childhood. She looked at the bright spring not far away, and her expression became very soft. Unknowingly, she even talked more, but she only said a few words but seemed Thinking of something, he immediately stopped all words.
Turning her head, Mo Ran looked at Ming Yuechen. Against the light, she couldn't see the expression on Ming Yuechen's face clearly, but she could still feel that it was a kind of softness like water, and this kind of softness should not appear in among them.
She closed her mouth embarrassingly, and Mo Ran paused for a few seconds. When she spoke again, it seemed that the embarrassment just now had disappeared: "There is no need to look for it specially. In this era, how many people can really be related to blood?" What about coexistence?"
There is a fire burning in Ming Yuechen's heart. He knows all the answers, but this answer is as cruel as lava from hell. What kind of harm will it cause.
He really wanted to tell Mo Ran that Xu Nancheng was this "Mo Xian", that Xu Nancheng was the man she had been thinking about since she was a child, and that Xu Nancheng was the man who had promised her that she would go back to pick him up, but he didn't dare.
He didn't dare to let Mo Ran know that whether it was the previous life or this life, Xu Nancheng had known her existence for a long time, Xu Nancheng had known that she was a dead person, and she had known that she was a high-level dead person. The research institute was also instructed by Xu Nancheng. Ming Yuechen didn't dare to let Mo Ran know this, and he didn't dare to let Mo Ran know that she was not Xu Nancheng's only child. To Xu Nancheng, she was never a flesh and blood, she was just a tool.
The spring is bright and beautiful, and the light falling down seems to have the smell of cherry blossom petals, falling on Mo Ran's body, as if even her whole body has become as warm as cherry blossoms.
Ming Yuechen stood in the shadow of the corridor, looking at Mo Ran quietly. He felt like a moss living in a dark and damp corner, and could only nest in such a dark place forever, while Mo Ran was like It is the only ray of sunshine in his life, blooming in the place he most expects but is most out of reach.
He hated his incompetence in the previous life, hated his irresponsible indifference to fame and fortune in the previous life, and even more hated the so-called righteousness of his race in the previous life. If he could have a little awakening at that time, even a little bit of resistance and re-choice , then Mo Ran wouldn’t die, and he and Mo Ran wouldn’t be in the situation they are in today—a situation where he doesn’t even have the qualifications to say "love her".
Living a new life, Ming Yuechen never expected to forgive this kind of fantasy. He thought that the only thing he could do was to hide some truth forever and never let the woman in front of him know what she had experienced. What are those painful truths.
It's not necessarily a bad thing for her to hate herself.
Hate, sometimes much more joy than despair.
Ming Yuechen thought that he would probably never tell Mo Ran the reason why he overthrew Xu Nancheng in his whole life, what world peace and racial justice were just excuses, just an excuse to send An Zu and Zhou weekend down that road, the real reason The reason is simple, he wants to kill Xu Nancheng openly, and he wants this secret to be forever annihilated in the darkness.
For Mo Ran, a dead "Mo Xian" is always happier than a living "Xu Nancheng" who even killed her.
"Well, I'll go back and let them look for it, not specifically, just look for it, and if I can find it, I'll let you know." The smile on the corner of Ming Yuechen's mouth deepened a bit, and he paused, as if chatting with old friends He asked again: "Have you ever thought about it, what would you do if Mo Xian didn't die?"
This question was thrown directly in front of Mo Ran from the sky like an unsolvable high-level math problem, and she was immediately confused by this question.
In her last life, she wanted to find Mo Xian so desperately. In fact, she never thought about what would happen after she found Mo Xian. It wasn't that her EQ was so low that she didn't even think about it, but that she I didn't dare to think about it at all, and this kind of dare not become a subconscious disregard over time.
This was the case before the end of the world, and it will be even more so after the end of the world.
"Going to meet?" Mo Ran's red pupils were filled with helplessness and ignorance for the first time, and she looked at Ming
It seemed as if a cannonball flew by from outside the sky, and hit Ming Yuechen's chest squarely, all emotions were shattered in that instant.
When was the last time you saw Mo Ran's expression like this? It was so long ago that even Ming Yuechen couldn't remember it at all, and those fragments that had gradually faded into residual red in his memory became extremely clear at this moment, as if even the patterns on them were barely visible.
Ming Yuechen was leaning against the pillars of the long corridor, with his hands folded in front of his chest, his fingers hidden under his arms, he had never been so lucky as he is now standing here in this posture, if not, Probably those trembling fingers will fully reveal the dull pain in his heart at this moment, and it is impossible for him to still pretend to be calm and face Mo Ran's eyes.
"And then?" Ming Yuechen's mind was a little confused. He felt that he could predict Mo Ran's influence on him every time, but every time this influence would continue to break through his defense line, it was as if it was very clear at first. Her thoughts were easily disturbed by her gaze. He snorted, trying to hide his confusion, but after a while he could only give up, and finally had to follow Mo Ran's words without clear consciousness.
Then what?
Mo Ran was stunned again, she didn't know.
She racked her brains to come up with the answer to even meeting her. What happens after meeting? What will happen again?
If Mo Xian was still alive, how would she go to meet him? Is this how you walked in front of him? What will Mo Xian look like at that time? Is he still the same as he remembers?
No, no, she was only five or six years old when she separated from Mo Xian. At that time, Mo Xian was the most handsome and warmest existence in the world in her mind. Now, if Mo Xian is still alive, he must have Old, what will he look like when he is old?
Mo Ran tried her best to imagine, but regrettably found that no matter how she thought about it, she still couldn't think of the answer. The passage of time made everything sink into the long river of time, without even a trace left.
Inexplicably, Mo Ran felt a little nervous, although she knew that this kind of nervousness had nothing to do with it.
In any case, she has to admit that Mo Xian left her the most flawless warmth in her childhood. During her long growing up, perhaps his reneging on his promise had dealt a blow to Mo Ran's belief, but the warmth he left for her Her childhood is the most solid force supporting her to adulthood.
No matter why Mo Xian broke his promise later, Mo Ran may be dissatisfied or unwilling, but he has never resented Mo Xian.
After growing up, she realized how difficult it is for an adult. Through this experience, she understood Mo Xian more and more. He didn't come because of his reasons. She was disappointed but not resentful. If so, she is still grateful to her for planting the most innocent and warm hope in her dark childhood.
"I..." Mo Ran licked her lips, tilted her head, and looked confused. She seemed to be thinking about this question constantly. She seemed to have many answers, but she didn't say these answers when she reached her lips.
"If..." Ming Yuechen suddenly felt that he was cruel, why did he give Mo Ran such hope?
If possible, he would really like to end the problem here, but he can't. Since he has made a decision, he will go on even if he is wrong. He would rather give Mo Ran a "Mo Ran" after such endless hopes. Xian is dead" lie, and I don't want her to keep looking forward to it, and finally discover the truth one day.
A slight hesitation made Ming Yuechen's heart tremble. After a short pause, he raised his head and smiled at Mo Ran again: "If you found him among humans, would you still go to see him?"
The expression on Mo Ran's face suddenly froze, and it seemed that she suddenly realized the problem at this moment.
She, Mo Ran, is the deceased.
That unknown Mo Xian is probably a human being.
They used to be similar, they used to be blood relatives, but now they are two completely different races, under such circumstances, if Mo Xian was alive, would he still recognize himself?
Oh, no, no, no, not to mention mutual recognition, but, can Mo Xian accept that his former blood relatives belong to another race? And is it still a racial existence with a lot of human blood on its hands?
Mo Ran
No one knows Mo Ran better than him, no one can know how much Mo Ran longs for the lost family affection, even if she hides it well, even if she has deceived herself, Ming Yuechen still Can't forget.
Back then, Mo Ran, who had been brought back from the research institute with meritorious deeds that could almost climb to the top, that Mo Ran who didn't even have a complete **** all over her body, curled up in her arms, with a low mouth Yelling yes-Dad...
After she recovered, during the year when she was hidden by her side, she hardly mentioned that she had a father until one night, Ming Yuechen couldn't help but asked her tentatively She just said something about "father".
However, after Ming Yuechen asked, he regretted it. After he knew Mo Ran's question about "father", he could no longer make a clean decision. Every time he aimed at Xu Nancheng, he couldn't help it. He wondered if Mo Ran would be sad if he did too much.
It was this kind of hesitation that made him miss too many opportunities to defeat Xu Nancheng. Instead, he was under Xu Nancheng's control until... until Mo Ran died, and he realized that it was wrong.
If he had killed Xu Nancheng earlier, perhaps Mo Ran would not have died.
Therefore, when Ming Yuechen was reborn, the first person he saw was Mo Ran, and the only thing he thought of was to let her kill him. Perhaps, only if he died in her hands would be the most important thing for her. Fair.
He thought he was going to die, but fate finally left him with a ray of hope. At that time, Ming Yuechen began to really think about what he would do after he survived.
Countless possibilities and countless things to do are placed in front of him, but he only sees one thing.
He wanted to kill Xu Nancheng. If what happened in the previous life could not be avoided in the end, then he would at least let Xu Nancheng die.
Ming Yuechen couldn't say a word anymore, he stretched out his hand, and gently placed it on Mo Ran's shoulder, feeling the slight tremor, he said, "Actually, maybe he's already dead."
Is Mo Xian already dead?
Mo Ran was stunned for a moment, but realized that this possibility was very high. If Mo Xian hadn't died, then he would have known about it when she caused chaos in Tiandu City. Why didn't he show up at that time? Is it because it is taboo that she is a dead person or because he is already dead...
After realizing this, Mo Ran seemed to calm down again. She lowered her head and remained silent for a few seconds. When she raised her head again, she took a step to the side calmly. Ming Yuechen's hand on her shoulder just fell away.
Mo Ran put her hands behind her back, squinted her eyes and looked at the bright spring in the distance, and saw the brightly colored butterflies chasing and flying among the flowers. She smiled soothingly, as if she agreed with Ming Yuechen's statement: "Well, maybe he's dead."
Ming Yuechen looked at the empty hand, and felt that there was a place in his heart that became empty again. His hand froze slightly, and then he took it back. Ming Yuechen held his hand tightly, wanting to imprint the body temperature that he just felt deeply in his body, so that he would never be separated again.
There was still an indifferent smile on his face, as if what happened just now was a very common thing and had no effect at all.
Mo Ran didn't notice these details, she was completely immersed in her emotions.
If Ming Yuechen hadn't mentioned it today, she probably wouldn't have discovered that she had always had great expectations for Mo Xian, but this expectation had never been met, and she gradually forgot it, and now she finds out, It was just mentioned a little, like a frying pan that was boiled by fire exploded immediately, those emotions that she had forgotten made her unable to forget even if she wanted to.
It was a long time before she said, "If, if he's still alive..."
Mo Ran's voice was very soft, with some frightening hesitation, but Ming Yuechen could still hear it clearly, and his voice couldn't help becoming light and ethereal: "What would you do if he was still alive? ?”
It seemed that this was another difficult question, Mo Ran paused for a long time before answering: "Probably go to see him?"
"Look at him?" Mo Ran's answer made Ming Yuechen a little sad. She had been looking forward to it for so long, from the last life to the present, from childhood to the present, is this all she wants in the end?
"Just to look at him?" Ming Yuechen's voice was full of
"En." Mo Ran didn't hesitate this time, she nodded quickly, and turned her face to look at Ming Yuechen. The hesitant look on her face had disappeared without a trace, and she had returned to the past. With her determination and self-confidence, she even showed a happy smile at Ming Yuechen: "Just look at him, and..."
"And what?"
"You don't need to alarm him, he doesn't even need to know my existence, I just need to look at him from a distance." Mo Ran smiled, but said very seriously.
"It's just like that?" Ming Yuechen couldn't describe how frightened he was at this moment. He suddenly realized that he hadn't really known Mo Ran before. How could she be so stingy?
How can she be so stingy about her feelings? Has she never wanted to feel sorry for herself?
"What else can I do?" Mo Ran let out a long breath, folded his palms and raised them to his head, stretched his body, pressed left and right, and his tone became extremely relaxed: "I am a dead person, although I am very proud of my race, but I know how you humans see us, monsters derived from zombies, monsters like undead creatures..."
While talking, Mo Ran even laughed indifferently, she shook her head, and didn't care about these comments: "If Mo Xian was alive, he would be in his fifties, people at this time are actually the most stubborn , They stubbornly insist on their own ideas and do not accept the changes in the world. If he still remembers me, he must also think that I am a human being. If he knows that I am no longer a human being, it will be a blow to some extent."
"In this case, it's better not to let him know." The more Mo Ran said, the more he felt that his decision was very correct: "Of course, what we said is based on the fact that Mo Xian is still alive. ..."
"If he is already dead." Mo Ran paused for a while, as if making a decision, and repeated: "It would be better if he was already dead, all these assumptions no longer exist."
Ming Yuechen felt that there was a crack in his chest cavity, as if he had been stabbed by a knife again and again, and he couldn't stop at all. He was so suffocated by the pain that he couldn't even breathe, and his face became pale. Gradually turning pale, he sees
He even wondered if he would not be able to bear the pain if he continued to stand here.
Averting his eyes, Ming Yuechen pretended to be contacted by humans, and after a while, he smiled and raised his head again, pretending to be indifferent and looking at Mo Ran and said: "Okay, I remember this, I will Go back and look it up for you, and I will let you know if there is any result." After that, he made a busy gesture: "It seems that something happened to the army, so I will leave first."
Mo Ran watched Ming Yuechen leave quickly, and didn't even say goodbye to her. Of course, Mo Ran didn't care much about Ming Yuechen's farewell, but felt that Ming Yuechen turned around and left too hastily, a little...
The smell of running away.
The author has something to say: daily update 24/30
Saturday 24/30
The month is finally over! ! Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated nutrient solution during 2021-04-2309:04:572021-04-2413:51:35
Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmine: An Chenyun 1;
Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 60 bottles of Ebensilo;
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!