Chapter 133
■■.
(1) =============== The liver of the nursery of the nursery was a good word for a good word.
The children at the nursery grumbled about it.
- It's too rough.
Our birthdays are all on January 1st, right? - It's annoying having multiple birthday parties.
- What's my name, huh? Kim Maeng-ja.
-Hey, even if you have a Kim clan, you got it because it looks natural.
I'm a Kim Han visa...
.
Did I just say hanbija? I thought so too.
Ever since I entered the tower, I have always thought that way.
But when I think back on it now that I met many people, met Geomje, met Master, met Raviel, and met many.
-Why is the manager like that? He seemed to be always concerned and wary of your love for us, as strange as it might be to say this.
- Doesn't the director love us? I remembered the conversation I had with the principal the day I inherited the middle school uniform.
The director made a serious expression after receiving a question from me, and said [Please wait for one day].
Whenever I was asked a serious question, the director always said [Please wait for one day].
And answered.
-You asked yesterday.
Why can't I love you a little more? -Yes… .
As the day went by, I felt a little sorry for asking such a question.
But, as if he didn't care about my feelings of apologetics, the headteacher spoke over and over again about what he had been organizing throughout the day.
- Confucius.
It's easy for people to pretend to be there.
That's the easiest thing in the world.
Pretending to be smart, pretending to be strong, being kind, pretending to know something...
.
Are you saying that to your friends too? The same goes for me, who gave you the names of Seonghyeons.
All adults do too.
The director did a dry wash.
-Everyone is wearing a mask.
There is no need to remove this mask.
But once you get used to it, at some point you forget that you're wearing a mask.
you'll forget that's what it takes The manager looked at me attentively.
His eyes were exploring whether I was chasing after the story.
- Just imagine.
If I get annoyed in front of you, what will you think? -Uh, today is a stressful day for the director...
? -Yes.
That's right.
The manager smiled bitterly.
-sorry.
i do that sometimes It was like once a month.
-Anyway, the important thing is that I'm sometimes annoyed with you, and you know that very well.
do you understand I am such a person.
you know me But, said the manager.
-What if I were the one who always loved you? What if you were someone who always said [I love you], smiled at you saying [You are the best part of my life], and hugged you saying [There is nothing I cherish more than you]? If I were that kind of person, what would happen if I became annoyed with you about once a year? The manager shook his head.
- Then you will think like this.
[Why is the director mad at us?] I can't understand.
Because you will think that I am the one who loves you the most.
[Why is the director angry when he says he loves us the most?] -.......
-You are still young.
So in the end, I can only think of the easiest answer.
[Oh, I must have done something wrong].
The manager shuddered a little.
- Even if I only get annoyed once a year, Confucius.
look.
If 10 years accumulate, it is 10 times.
If you remember only half of the 10 times, it's 5 times.
And memories of number 5 are sufficient and overflowing to determine a person's personality.
And the manager was silent for a while.
- Don't do that.
The manager muttered.
-Remember me as a stressful and irritable person.
Think of it as someone who doesn't even bother throwing a birthday party.
That's the truth.
Don't blame yourself.
you are not wrong Don't be twisted by a guy like me.
-.......
-You can be strong.
I want to be a strong person as much as possible.
In the director's office, A4 paper copied with a printer was stuck on the wall.
It was hung right across from the director's desk, and that's often taken as a background.
It is an object that is always there, such as a pattern on a wallpaper or a result of a plank.
But that day, I glanced at an A4 sheet of paper.
+ Based on the beliefs of human dignity and social justice, I work with individuals, families, groups, organizations, local communities, and society as a whole so that all people can enjoy a humane life.
I always stand by the side of the marginalized and suffering, protect their human rights and interests, reject social injustice and injustice, and put the public interest ahead of individual interests.
I devote myself as a social worker with morality and responsibility by complying with the social worker's code of ethics.
I swear my honor and solemnly swear by my free will.
+ I looked at the manager.
-.......
The director silently looked into the air as if he was immersed in trouble.
black eyes.
Those eyes remain in my memory.
2.
“I'm sorry.
Raviel.
I can’t go to school together today.”
I said to the school gate.
"Well." Raviel looked at me.
Raviel's gaze slowly descended.
There was my hand.
I was also holding someone else's hand that wasn't mine.
"......." It was the hand of the sacheonseong.
Sal Cheonseong was dragged here while holding my hand.
I didn't ask why he was holding my hand or where he was taking me.
I'm just quietly bowing my head.
“… … My boyfriend sometimes shows weird behavior.
It was an action that was close to a mystery.
I think that kind of a boyfriend is great.”
Raviel murmured.
"do whatever you want.
Follow your heart.
Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Not yet.
But, I will tell you right away.”
“I will believe.
always." Raviel kissed my forehead.
And without hesitation, he turned his back and boarded the limousine.
The limousine was driven by a butler who resembled the imperial servant and disappeared across the road.
“Okay then.”
I looked back at Salcheonseong.
"let's go." “… … Where?”
“To your house.”
"......." Sal Cheonseong hesitated for the first time.
It was like being fed up.
But my thoughts were firm.
First, I was going to visit Sal Chun-seong's parents and give an apology.
'I don't know where the hell to untie the thread.' Of course, an apology will not end this [trauma].
can't be resolved As the difficulty increased, perhaps the trauma itself seemed to have changed like a stage that had to be resolved.
'For now, let's do one thing at a time.' As always.
However, my attempts to deal with the trauma were thwarted from the start.
“… … Here it is.”
When I saw the [house] that Salcheonseong had guided me, I was at a loss for words.
It was a garbage dump.
under the foot of the mountain.
There was an empty vacant lot where the pine trees were sparsely thick.
The vacant lot was a small trash can in the city.
Plastic bottles, dirty Styrofoam, and paper wads were piled up in a mess.
In the middle of it was a shack.
[■■ lives in a garbage dump.
Indoor shoes and school uniforms are all recycled.
There is only one garbage that cannot be recycled, and that is ██.] My head was pounding.
I thought it was just a text mixed with malice.
assholes.
“What about your parents? Do you work?”
The shack was a refuge, not a haven.
The wall didn't reach the roof, so there was a hole in the wall.
The roof was covered with gray vinyl.
“My father collects scraps and sells them.”
Plastic rubbish surrounded the shack like a moat.
The plastic that surrounded the shack had torn labels, unlike other garbage around.
It was clean.
Perhaps because of that, the shack seemed to be floating on a white plastic sandy beach.
“What about your mother?”
"no." "......." okay.
“Is this your friend?”
After waiting for two hours, my father came home.
He was a poor man.
But he was more crushed by life than poverty.
I knew it as soon as I saw it.
A small single room.
Sometimes when I looked in the mirror, I was like that.
no." "Ummm...?" The old man narrowed his eyebrows.
He looked too old for a person with high school children.
He resembled the face of the old boatman that I traumatized in [Cheonma Sillok].
"I am the one who beaten and bullied this child.
.”
“Ummm…?”
The old man wrinkled his eyes blankly.
"......." I realized the minute after I started talking to the old man.
'late.' It's already late.
The old man in front of him had already worn out and had no wick to burn his heart.
Unlike me when I lived in a single room.
That was the difference between me and this man back then.
It was not known where the difference came from.
“Here is the proof.
If you look at your phone, you see text messages.
If you look at this...
… ." Only one thing is certain.
This man does not have the power to take responsibility for his death.
"Ugh." I showed everything I could show right now.
Seeing the sight of hell endured by a child, the old man's eyes "That's right..." The old man stared intently at me and that's all.
When I finished talking, the old man stopped talking.
It was as if the conversation had ended.
The old man just waited to see if I had anything more to say, and waited for nothing if there wasn't.
He has nothing to say to me.
It looked like, 'Um.' I looked at the signs of death.
He was not looking at his father.
He was not shocked or insulted by the conversation that had just happened.
He had no expression.
He sat quietly on the floor.
'Yeah.' That's it.
I got up and bowed my head to the old man, "If you're okay with it, I'd like to stay with you for a while.
I'd like to invite you to my house.
Is that okay?" “That’s right….”
It was clear that the old man did not understand what I was saying, he was helpless, but I explained over and over again not for the old man, but for the sake of the dead.
Months.
Maybe longer than that.
Every weekend and Saturday evening I will visit and tell you how your child is doing.
Father, are you okay?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Okay, I looked back at Salcheonseong, "Let's go." "......." "Bring something to bring.
As I said to my father, we may stay at my house for a while." Sal Cheonseong looked up at me and said, “What are you going to do now?”
The words that came out of Sal Cheon-seong's mouth were not respectful: "I'm going to marry a rich lady, so I'm going to do laundry in the past? I'm afraid I'll have problems later.
You're smart." "Or is this a new game? If you want to play, just say you want to play.
Tell me what kind of game it is.
Don't bother doing this.
I'll play again.
Shall we go to the schoolyard at night?" Salcheonseong's voice was blunt.
There was no curve at all.
It was the voice of a human who chose to fall to death the day before.
"I'm sorry." “Are you crazy? You are crazy.
Gongja Kim.”
"Give me just one more day.
Please.
I'll do something about it.
Please bear with me one more day." "......." For me, it was one of many days to come, but it was the last day for the person in front of me.
There was no Iran.
"You do it yourself...
as you like." “Salcheonseong muttered as if tired.
I grabbed Salcheonseong’s wrist and headed to [home].
To follow an unknown road, we had to go through school.
Please wait here for a second.”
"I'll be back soon.
In 20 minutes.
Can you wait for me?" “Because you do what you want…”
I left Salcheonseong by the roadside and headed home first.
There was a man behind the scenes in the yard, probably watching the night sky alone, and he picked up a glass of whiskey.
"Are you here, son? It's a little late today.
Khuh.
Maybe it's not too late to play because you have a girlfriend? As I said in advance, I graduated from high school After that, get serious.
There's nothing good about being in a relationship if you step on the speed pedal." Geomje.
My partner.
The person who taught me how to look ahead.
In this world, my, “Father.”
"……OK?" Bae Huo-ryeong blinked.
"Hey, it's strange? What? It's weird because you call me father.
It's not weird, it's very awkward....
It's awkward as if the chicken had just risen.
It's awkward.
Is it because I was drunk?”
"father." I called him again, "You couldn't have raised me like this." "What?" "The father I know is a great person.
He's a scary person.
He looks like a psychopath who only knows himself, but there's a little bit of that, but at least at the point where he thinks [this isn't] it's definitely the end." Bae Huo-ryeong raised his eyebrows, “What are you talking about…, son?”
"If you were a father, I wouldn't grow up to be a rogue.
I could stumble, but before I go all the way, you'll grab me and get me back, even if it's half-kill." You are that kind of person: "However, I bully a weak child… I even drove him to commit suicide.
That." “Don’t worry about people saying there are a lot of people who make a fuss with it.”
“Things that can’t even be clicked in front of you are raging with only your fingers alive.”
No.
You are not simply the kind of person who can do that.
You are the one who sees people in pain and swears to teach them how to be happy.”
“……”
“I am the kind of person you despise the most.
There is no way you would call such a human being [son] affectionately.
It's impossible.
This is an impossible world.”
Silence subsided in the night sky.
In the yard where there was no sound of insects, I looked straight at the background.
and said “You are not a swordsman.”
"......." "Get lost.
Right in front of my eyes.”
That moment.
-■■■■■.
The body of the mastermind was torn apart.
The skin was dripping.
The bones melted.
Everything that made up the skin evaporated.
When I close my eyes and open them, there is something invisible.
There was only a fluttering shadow like a ghost.
-■■■■, ■■...
I couldn't understand what it was saying.
I couldn't even recognize its face.
However, I realized that it was the bare face of [my father].
It was the bare face of this world.
"......." I passed the hinterland and entered the house.
“Come here.
Confucius.”
On the sofa in the living room, Master was sitting.
With a face and appearance that I thought I would never see again.
“How was school today, my son?”
Master was smiling softly.134.